Suzy Says

Textbook Ephemeral

Archive for the 'Calamity Suzy' Category


   Apr 13

Finally

I am pleased to report that the mattress nightmare is finally over! Like particularly capricious dates, they kept standing me up at the last minute. This happened twice. The day and time was set, and then the night before, I’d get a call saying something had come up and they couldn’t make it after all. […]

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   Apr 03

Sprung

Spring has definitely sprung. The overachiever is flaunting what is probably its final flower of the season: as the outdoor garden tries to catch up. I noticed that the jasmine is budding, if not blooming just yet, and that the peony bush is making an appearance. I should probably get out there and do some […]

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   Mar 16

Once (or Twice) Upon a Mattress

Decision-making is not my forte. I tend to wait until a course of action becomes inevitable and then just go along with it, like the artist Edgar Degas, who believed we were all just “corks* in a stream” and that life was just a random series of events. If I do make a decision, it […]

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   Feb 08

The Screw Up

It is yet another beautiful day in a series of beautiful days. Hmm…I wonder what I can screw up today? Monday was Mondayer than usual. My dentist’s office called to see if I could come in on Monday instead of Thursday. Working at the clinic has made me understand the importance of filling a schedule, […]

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   Jan 10

Cats & Dogs

The Plague is finally beginning to lose its death grip on our heroine, but after all this time, I am still not fully restored to health and sanity, though of course I am back at work, having burned through 42 hours of paid time off without the advantages of having fun, getting rest, or restoring […]

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   Jan 06

Stasis

It’s a good thing I didn’t make any New Year’s resolutions, since I have not done a thing this entire new year except Be Sick. Either I am really good at it, or really bad at it, since I have been plague-stricken for over a week now, with no signs of the malady’s departure. So, […]

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   May 16

Flat Out

It really does exist I started the week with a bang – or at least, a flat and smoking tire. As I left the Big Town, I noticed that Wednesday was not handling the way I was used to. I thought maybe it was the wind, but as time progressed, it became clear that it […]

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   Mar 08

More Cats & Dogs

One of the side effects of the mystery ailment is a certain grumpiness and intolerance for nonsense, especially kitty-based nonsense. Unfortunately for me, Clyde’s interest in naughtiness remains unabated, and he has also decided that now is the perfect time for him to up his meowing game. I disagree with him strongly on this point, […]

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   Mar 05

Marooned

I am coming to you from the couch, where I am ensconced with several feather pillows (did I ever mention my pillow addiction? I think the usual number residing on my bed is around eight. It’s less than half that on the couch, though they are beaded and/or velvet to make up for it), and […]

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   Jan 04

Night and Day

Nothing like a bad night’s sleep to set you up for a weird day at work, I always say. Clyde the cat decided the middle of the night was an excellent time to leap on my unsuspecting form. Like most males, of the feline persuasion or otherwise, he is decidedly pro-boobs*, persistently making them both […]

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   Nov 11

Crash

Little did I know that running screaming hand-in-hand with Jessica through the Haunted Hall of Horrors on Halloween would be the least scary thing that happened to me all that week. I have always expected to hit a deer at some point on my lengthy commute, especially since the length of my work days cause […]

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   Aug 07

Bad Omen

There hasn’t been much time for anything but work this week. I have been leaving the house at 6:00 am in a mostly vain attempt to get everything done in time, blasting down the Ridge with Weezer to wake me up. I was amused to pull up to the clinic one day as they were […]

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   Mar 18

Unhappy Feet

It was a dark and stormy morning. I started it off on the wrong foot by putting my bare one into an alarmingly big (and remarkably cold) puddle by the table in the kitchen. That’s what I get for running around barefoot. My late, lamented stepmother found this habit deplorable. To her, only poor people […]

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   Jan 27

Adventures In Cooking

OK…Take Three! It took me more than an hour and no less than three attempts to make mashed potatoes, a first (and hopefully, a last) for me. I dared to schedule a slow cooker dinner on a wild and stormy day, and amazingly was able to merrily use electricity all day to make the following […]

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   Dec 19

The Office Party

It turns out hell is decorated quite nicely Or “How I Learned More Than I Ever Needed to Know About Lottery Tickets”. I should get a t-shirt that says “I survived the office holiday party”. Or maybe a medal… Planning a party for more than 100 people is enough of an undertaking without the Powers […]

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   Nov 22

Less Dizzy, Less Blonde

I left work early to go to the physiotherapist, whose office is conveniently located a couple of blocks away. They had a cancellation, so I didn’t have to wait until December as originally planned. After filling out the requisite paperwork in the very Zen looking office, I went into the consultation room. I explained what […]

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   Oct 29

Can You?

The vertigo is fading, though it still rears its ugly head when I lay down my pretty one, and reminds me that it’s still around when I sit up in the morning. I am in line for a referral to a physiotherapist, who is supposed to do some kind of desensitization therapy which I hope […]

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   Oct 20

Dizzy Broad

I thought the cold I had was pretty minor. It was really just a runny nose – no sore throat, no fever, or anything else. However, whatever was going on inside my head was bad enough to leave a seemingly endless case of vertigo in its wake. I wakened last week to find that my […]

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   Aug 13

Hole in the Head

I started the week with losing a piece of a filling. One minute, I’m eating an apple at my desk, and the next, there’s a little black thing in my hand and what feels like a giant hole in my tooth. Uh oh. I immediately headed over to the dental department, which is conveniently located […]

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   Jun 10

Get Back

Flowers Outside My Office Door It’s been so long since it rained that when the pattering on the roof woke me up last night, I was unable to identify the sound at first. Eventually, my sleep-fogged mind realized it was a light shower. By the time the alarm went off, the showers had departed, leaving […]

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