Suzy Says

The Trust Fundies upstairs are moving out, to my relief. They are, as Gil from Gilmore Girls would say, “way deep in my bogus bag, and it’s Ziplocked shut.” Their dog attacked Rita the Wonder Dog twice, leaving her traumatized to the point that she flees from any dog that looks anything like [...]

On the way to the park today:
A limo pulled into the parking lot of the slaughterhouse. I figure the driver must have made a mistake, but apparently not, since it was still there when Rita & I came back from the park. Why? Or more importantly, why?
Two cops were discussing the “bottoming [...]

Said the Lady of Suzy*.
It’s a beautiful summer morning. Sunny, breezy, perfect. Rita and I are walking to the park, when, WHAM! It’s her Actual Owner. He says he wants to take her back. I am horrified and too surprised to be polite. To the point where he says [...]

This weekend’s feature presentation was none other than Swamp Women (1955), which marks Roger Corman’s directorial debut. All the signature Corman features were there: the liberal use of stock footage (a dismal Mardi Gras parade, very low on drunkenness and nakidity) and alligators (eek!) and rattlesnakes (ditto!); continuity errors ignored; and lots of leg [...]

Note to Self:
Do not, under any circumstances, leave bags of groceries on the kitchen floor and then go out again. You will regret it.
I abandoned my freshly-purchased foodstuffs on the kitchen floor in order to amble another errand. Imagine my surprise when I came home to discover that Rita had taken advantage of [...]

There was a knock at the door this morning. Rita started barking, like the good watch dog she is, explaining to the visitor that any evil deeds toward her girl would be rewarded with teeth and claws. Rita got to the door before I did, my heart pounding with fear in case it [...]

I hope possession really is 9/10 of the law, because I still have Rita, and after a month of her undivided adorableness, I really don’t want to return her to her lawful owner. I haven’t heard a peep from him lately, so I’m hoping he feels too guilty to take her away, and/or realizes [...]

Given the spate of bad birthdays lately, I decided it’s time to stem that tide. No Birthday Week – just a Birthday Weekend. Baby steps, my friends. Here’s the plan:
Saturday:
Sleep in.
Walk Rita.
Check mail for cards’n’presents.
Mani-pedi. Possible nail art, but I’m leaning toward French toes & fingers.
Walk Rita again to show off [...]