The Wayward Ways of Cats


Stately Suzy Manor

I really don’t know why we call ourselves cats’ owners. Clearly, it’s the other way around. At least at Stately Suzy Manor, Audrey is Lady Violet and I am the humble Anna. Or possibly Daisy.
Recently, I have been making the laughable attempt to change which door Audrey uses to enter and exit her domain. During the heat tsunami and its unpleasant aftermath (Thursday night was the first night this month I was able to sleep under the covers and without a fan blasting in the sleeping loft), I decided I had to find a way to keep the downstairs sliding door open at night, to create a mythical cross breeze with the balcony door upstairs.

Both doors are equipped with screens, thanks to the resourceful Rob, but the one downstairs slides and the resourceful Audrey has figured out how to open it with her clever paws. That girl is nothing if not persistent. I came up with the genius idea of putting a piece of wood between the sliding screen and the door frame to stop the sliding, though of course I needed Rob to actually find the wood and cut it down to size.

It works fine, but the problem is that it is also Audrey’s favored entrance and egress, and opening it once the stick is installed entails going outside. I have tried to convince her to come in through the door that leads to the bathroom from the back porch, but she stubbornly refuses – most of the time. Yesterday she ran away twice when I tried to get her inside through that door before heading to work to keep them both in fancy cat food and Pretty Litter. I finally went outside, removed the stick, went back inside, closed the sliding glass door, picked up Clyde, and then let Audrey in.

Part of Audrey’s hesitation in coming inside through any door now is Clyde, whose new hobby is pouncing on Audrey and annoying her, ending in hisses and claws all around. She much prefers to make her majestic entrance when she can see that Clyde is out of the way, preferably by me holding him until she can get in and make a getaway from her annoying little brother before he can start something.

I can sympathize with this viewpoint, having a formerly annoying formerly little brother of my own, but it makes being a cat servant even more challenging. And the pay is just terrible. Fortunately, the benefits are pretty good.

A YEAR AGO: Farewell to dear Ben. Glad to say he is back again as I write this!

FIVE YEARS AGO: More farewells.

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1 Comment


  1. Cata are very resourceful indeed, I love the way they like to control everything around them, they even control the people who take care of them, much smarter than we think these fury animals lol but I love all animals simply for that reason, they are who they are and do not present themselves to us as someone else.

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