Exchange Rate

Yesterday, I went to the city to pick up the check for my late lamented ring. It was fabulous to get a break, however brief, from the hellacious East Bay heat. As I drove across the Bay Bridge, passing the “City and County of San Francisco” sign, the air was delicately silvered with fog and deliciously cool. The city never looked lovelier.

I even found a parking space right in front of the jeweler’s. In the window, there was an eight carat diamond ring. Yours for a mere $195,000!

I deposited the check, and spent the first of the proceeds on a pizza from Victor’s and a doughnut from Bob’s before heading back into exile.

I thought I’d feel relieved as I deposited the check, but I didn’t. A third of it was slated for overdue bills, exchanging beauty for necessity yet again. It made me almost as sad as parting with the ring in the first place.

After paying the overdue bills, I planned to buy a couple of books which I wanted to read and the library didn’t have. But when it came to checking out on Amazon, I was so horrified by the shipping costs that I returned them to their virtual shelves. I’ve been so broke and so desperate for so long that even the thought of spending that money was unthinkable to me. I had thought I’d enjoy the novel sensation of purchasing a novel, but even that has been beaten out of me. I hope it’s not forever.

I’m going to see my sibs for a couple of days next week to see if a more reasonably priced life could be feasible for me. Maybe it will restore my joie de vivre – or joie de shopping, anyway.