I often wonder what June and Audrey do when I’m away. I imagine that as soon as the door closes behind me, they start jumping on the counters and other forbidden places, chewing on CD cases (June) and clawing at the washer (Audrey). If they were human, I know it would take them about .0003 seconds before the house was full of their friends and unsuitable boyfriends, blasting the stereo and dipping into the bar. They’d be shooing them out the back door and shoveling garbage into bags as I drove into the driveway.
They never cease to come up with new and exciting ways to make trouble. I used to thaw food on top of the refrigerator, until I caught Audrey up there. She had merrily chewed through the Ziploc bag and was working on a chicken breast. When I yelled at her, she jumped down onto the adjacent stove and ran away, adding a layer of horror to the outrage – what if the stove had been on?
During the last heat wave, I put a bowl of water on the back porch, where the girls were spending most of their time. June wasted no time in playing with it, knocking it around from paw to paw and moving it across the porch like a hockey puck, spilling water everywhere. After a few more episodes like that, I gave up on it, but it’s not unusual to find a mini-lake in the kitchen from the regular water dish receiving the same treatment.
The Boxes, all 30 of them, are currently stacked in front of the fireplace. One of these days I’ll transport them to my brother’s storage container, but in the meantime, they’re the focal point of the living room. Both Audrey and June enjoy lounging on top the boxes and swatting at me as I pass by. Audrey, however, managed to wiggle her way down the cliff of boxes and into the fireplace, where she presumably managed to climb up the flue partway and hang out (the flue is blocked with old pillows to discourage me from using the fireplace). When she was bored, she found she was unable to climb back up, and started mewing pitifully and clawing at the boxes. I moved enough of them to let her out, and she leapt past me and ran off, looking for more mischief.
I feel confident she’ll find it.