Florida by the Numbers

Farewell, Florida!

Number of palmetto bugs seen: 6

Number of palmetto bugs squashed: 6

Gross-out factor: On a scale of one to ten (10 being CSI close-ups), about 100.

Number of geckos seen: About a dozen.

Number of geckos scared: See above.

Number of armadillos seen: 2 (they are superbly uninterested in humans)

Number of ospreys seen: 2. One was five feet away. Eating a fish. With an armadillo attitude.

Spring training baseball games attended: Only two! Both starring the Blue Jays. Score: 0 for the Jays.

Spring training baseball practice sessions attended: 4

Kisses and autographs from ballplayers: 0

Sunburns: 0!! A personal best!

Days when it wasn’t about a million degrees: 0. Even when it was raining.

Days when Suzy didn’t complain about the heat and/or humidity: 0. (“It’s not the heat, it’s the complaining about the heat.”)

Number of states driven through en route: 5. Or maybe 6?

Number of miles driven: Do numbers go that high?

Number of meals not featuring fat: 0

Pounds gained: Ignorance is bliss.

Butt size: Southern fried, my friend.

Southern delicacies not consumed by Suzy: Grouper (due to moratorium); boiled “p.nuts”; alligator (I promised Kelly I wouldn’t); sweet potatoes with marshmallows on top; anything on a stick; deep-fried desserts.

Southern delicacies consumed by Suzy: Key lime pie; coconut shrimp; freshly squeezed grapefruit juice; grits (grits are gross, especially at the Waffle House, or, as those in the know call it, the Awful House).

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4 thoughts on “Florida by the Numbers

  1. Ah, I used to be such a Blue Jays fan – back when it was Roberto Alomar, John Olerud, Joe Carter, Pat Hentgen…. that was good times. Never did see a live game though.

    Anyway – bye FloridaSuzy!

  2. Alligator is very, very yummy. Despite how cliche it is, it tastes much like chicken. XD

    Congratulations on your personal best with the sun burns!

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