Suzy Says
Radio Nowhere
Florida by the Numbers
March 29th, 2005 by suzy in Florida

Farewell, Florida!

Number of palmetto bugs seen: 6

Number of palmetto bugs squashed: 6

Gross-out factor: On a scale of one to ten (10 being CSI close-ups), about 100.

Number of geckos seen: About a dozen.

Number of geckos scared: See above.

Number of armadillos seen: 2 (they are superbly uninterested in humans)

Number of ospreys seen: 2. One was five feet away. Eating a fish. With an armadillo attitude.

Spring training baseball games attended: Only two! Both starring the Blue Jays. Score: 0 for the Jays.

Spring training baseball practice sessions attended: 4

Kisses and autographs from ballplayers: 0

Sunburns: 0!! A personal best!

Days when it wasn’t about a million degrees: 0. Even when it was raining.

Days when Suzy didn’t complain about the heat and/or humidity: 0. (“It’s not the heat, it’s the complaining about the heat.”)

Number of states driven through en route: 5. Or maybe 6?

Number of miles driven: Do numbers go that high?

Number of meals not featuring fat: 0

Pounds gained: Ignorance is bliss.

Butt size: Southern fried, my friend.

Southern delicacies not consumed by Suzy: Grouper (due to moratorium); boiled “p.nuts”; alligator (I promised Kelly I wouldn’t); sweet potatoes with marshmallows on top; anything on a stick; deep-fried desserts.

Southern delicacies consumed by Suzy: Key lime pie; coconut shrimp; freshly squeezed grapefruit juice; grits (grits are gross, especially at the Waffle House, or, as those in the know call it, the Awful House).

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4 Responses

Ah, I used to be such a Blue Jays fan – back when it was Roberto Alomar, John Olerud, Joe Carter, Pat Hentgen…. that was good times. Never did see a live game though.

Anyway – bye FloridaSuzy!

Where to now?

Opening day for the Jays today!

And as for where I’ll be…right here!

Alligator is very, very yummy. Despite how cliche it is, it tastes much like chicken. XD

Congratulations on your personal best with the sun burns!

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