Suzy Says

Yee haw! We’re officially trailer trash! Or is it “yeehaw”, one word? True trailer trash would almost certainly know. Though maybe trailer trash in its purest form can’t spell.

Anyway, we bought a trailer for Mom. Those of you familiar with the epic saga of Mom can skip this part – go and have a latte or a glass of wine, depending on where you are and your personal degree of degeneracy, and join the rest of the class later. Those who don’t have the sordid factettes of Mom’s recent life at their fingertips, here’s a quick overview of how we got to the point in our lives where we have our very own trailer park:

– Mom married an asshat half her age who spent all her money and then left her and the country, pretty much in that order.

– Mom is now on welfare. Asshat doing just fine and has not paid her a dime. Such is often the way with asshats, I have noticed.

– Mom has breast cancer which has spread into her bones. She used to live in SoCal, but when her health deteriorated, we moved her halfway between where I live and my younger siblings live.

– Mom’s health got worse. She went to stay with my younger sister Megan and almost died, but didn’t. Still can’t live on her own, so has been living with sis since June.

– House is about 500 square feet and only has a sleeping loft with no door for Megan & her long-suffering husband. Mom in living room 24/7 watching mindless TV and making endless demands. You get the picture.

– Situation has gotten increasingly volatile (think lab rats deprived of personal space, understandably going crazy and attacking each other, only with better vocabularies), so Mom has come down to the city a few times to give everyone a break, but this was obviously just a bandaid on an arterial wound and the real problem had to be addressed.

– Thanks to asshat, we have no money, so we came up with the idea of buying Mom a trailer so she will have her own space and my sister & husband can reclaim their house.

OK, we’re all up to speed. Faithful readers, you can now rejoin the class.

We got the trailer from a friend of a friend. It’s 25 feet long, has a double bed and two single beds (extra sleeping space is a total bonus – we were so short of it in our pre-trailer days that I had to sleep in a tent when I was up there this summer “helping”* to take care of Mom. I hate Nature), a bathroom with one of those little European type bathtubs and a shower, a kitchenette with gas stove and mini-refrigerator like a hotel mini-bar, and really good heating, which is essential. Mom really feels the cold, and it’s a lot colder and rains more up there than it does in the city. The trailer is on Megan’s property, so she’s at hand if needed. All in all, a pretty good deal, and it should make everyone’s life less stressful.

I’m off to Wal-Mart to buy blue eyeshadow and a tube top.

*”Helping” mostly consisted of being bored, complaining, and trying to dodge the more repulsive nursing tasks.