Suzy Says

Mom’s being released from the hospital tomorrow, I’m back in the city, and all’s right with the world. I even managed to lose the mutant cold from hell somewhere on the frighteningly curvacious Greenwood-Philo Road, en route to the equally corkscrewesque Highway 128. It just couldn’t keep up, and I’m assuming it’s lying in wait for its next unsuspecting victim.

Country driving has hazards unfamiliar to city drivers:

– It’s really, really dark at night (and night falls early this time of year, very inconvenient for those of us who just have no talent for getting up early). No streetlights and no ambient light. Finally, a rational, semi-adult reason for being scared of the dark!

– People give you directions like, “Turn left at the yellow house. When you see that really big tree, make a right, and we’re right next to the water tower.” Finding the yellow house is especially challenging in the pitch dark on a dirt road. No cell phone service, either, so if you’re lost, you’re really on your own, feeling like the star of your very own horror movie. Is that an axe murderer or a tree?

– Even the Bambiest of deer are terrifying when they leap out of the woods and right in front of your car. Fortunately, I missed that one and it vanished into the woods, taking a few years of my life with it and leaving me with even more grey hair. I also managed to avoid hitting a cat, a squirrel, and several birds. I guess you could consider it a car game, like I Spy. In fact, it’s a variation of I Spy when you think about it.

– Cattle grating. This was a new one. According to my sister Megan, the country dweller, cattle grating is used to keep cows from crossing the road (anything that reduces the animal population on the roads is just fine with me). It freaks them out, she explained, and they don’t like to walk on it. However, you have to drive over it really slowly, like 10 miles an hour, or you’ll fishtail all over the place and end up even more freaked out than the cows.

My sisters and I (left to right: Beth, Megan, Me) had breakfast together in the beautiful little town of Elk before I left for San Francisco. You have to love eating breakfast outside in December in a place that looks like this, with hummingbirds whizzing around and flowers blooming everywhere. Across the road, a happy little group of people were decorating the Christmas tree outside their church. It was a charming tableau.