Suzy Says

Love/hate for Friday, October 4, 2002
Family

Yes, they can be (and are) exasperating. No, you can’t choose your own (imagine if you could!). But if you’re lucky, they are some of the best friends you’ll ever have: your family.

No-one knows you or loves you like your parents or siblings. They have known you your entire life, from babyhood to childhood to gawky adolescence to hopefully less gawky adulthood. When they look at you, they see all those earlier incarnations as well as the current one. You shared your daily lives in the same house until you left home, and I believe that sharing both the big events and the daily trivia – especially the daily trivia – create a bond that cannot be forged in any other way. And by the time you grow up, the people with whom you have this special bond are part of the foundation of your life.

You can always count on each other, whether it’s for an emergency loan, a shoulder to cry on, advice, or a hug. If any of my siblings asked me to hide him/her from the police, I’d do it without a second thought, and I might not even ask what the crime was.

I couldn’t have faced all the things I have had to face over the past year and a half without my brother and sisters. I will never forget my brother comforting me before our father’s thanksgiving service, giving me the strength not only to attend it, but to give my speech without breaking down. I will never forget my older sister’s courage as she opened the service with a clear gaze at the congregation and an unwavering voice. I know what that cost her, and I am still amazed. I will never forget how my younger sister could not, would not, let me follow Dad’s coffin alone on its final journey, and I know what that cost her, too.

Though I have known and loved them my entire life, they are still able to surprise me with new aspects of their strength, courage, generosity, and love. Together, we have faced the worst time in our lives, and have united against every disaster, supporting each other no matter what. I don’t know how only children do it.

I’m not saying we haven’t had our differences. Being stubborn and opinionated and unafraid to express ourselves, there have certainly been differences. There probably always will be. But when all is said and done, we’re family. That’s what counts. And I’m so thankful for mine, just the way they are.