Suzy Says

I have spent all morning working on my new site, and am having a problem with one of the pages which I can’t figure out, so I’m taking a break before my head explodes.

Had an update from my sis, who made it safely to England. The flight was hot, crowded, full of screaming kids, and she had to check her backpack, which really annoyed her. Every time she goes to England, it rains, like she brings her own low pressure front with her — the opposite of our Dad, who always has sunny weather when he’s here for Christmas. Even though it’s July and it was 80 degrees the day before she arrived, it’s raining now. Poor kid.

Rufus and I had a fun porn double bill yesterday. He’s very good at coming up with good double bills with a theme. Yesterday’s was “The People vs. Larry Flynt” followed by “Boogie Nights”. I think both are great movies, and I also think both could have been a LOT grosser and graphic than they were. Both have great casts, style, and wit. I don’t agree with the critics who said that “People” glorified Larry Flynt. I think it shows him as the sleazebag he is, but a smart sleazebag. I also think it’s a real love story, however strange.

This is a great idea. A 24 hour blogathon, starting July 28 and going for 24 hours. You can either sponsor or be sponsored, but either way, it’s a wonderful way to support some of the charities you care about. If you need more incentive, Jerwin has promised to start the blogathon wearing 24 pieces of clothing, removing one each hour so he’s all Jerwin at the end. And you know he’ll do it!

And speaking of airplane travel, my sister Megan is on her way to London this evening to spend two weeks with our Dad in London (with a brief side trip to Paris). Bon voyage, baby!

I wish they could come up with some magical method of getting you there without the horror of 11 hours in a sardine can, mostly over frozen wasteland. Why haven’t they come up with a Star Trek way of just zapping you over there? I’d way rather spend money on that than about 75% of the stuff tax dollars get spent on.

Maybe the airlines should consider that air rage might have something to do with waiting in line forever to get checked in (I will never understand why the people in front of me take so damn long when I get checked in within 2 minutes), being endlessly delayed (on our recent trip to LA, Rufus and I spent more than twice the actual flying time waiting for a delayed plane), baggage being lost (worst case for me was having my luggage lost for 2 weeks and then having it turn up with big pink “RUSH” stickers on it. God knows where it went on vacation), and being packed into teeny seats at the mercy of other passengers’ elbows and conversation. Many domestic flights have cut down their food service — not that airplane food is ever gourmet, though it can be passable in business/first class — so you can add being hungry to the other lists of physical and mental malaise caused by flying. I’m not saying that some people don’t go nuts and act like assholes on planes — though possibly no more than they do on terra firma — but maybe if they were treated better to begin with, it would help.

Update on my brother’s new kitten, Iggy. He’s been exploring inside and outside the house and hasn’t gotten into major trouble yet. That house is like a jungle gym for a kitten. Iggy even followed Jonathan out to the parking lot of his house while Jonathan was working on a car. Iggy amused himself by jumping back and forth across a ditch for nearly an hour. I guess you’re easily amused when you’re a kitten!

Mars, my brother’s old cat, is doing better in dealing with his new little brother. He was pretty mad for the first couple of days, which is only to be expected when you are 14 years old and have been king of the roost all that time. But now he’s sleeping upstairs with Jonathan, Iggy, and Jed the wonder dog, though not getting too close. I hope Mars will pass on some of his mousing skills, and that the two cats eventually get closer.

My mother’s deadbeat husband has been served with divorce papers! He can run, but he can’t hide. The court date is set for September 4, and he has the choice of appearing in court in San Diego, where he will be arrested by the Marines for desertion, or not showing up and having judgement go against him. My understanding is that after the judgement is made, his wages (he works at Home Depot in the warehouse, so let’s guess it’s about the same as pimply teenagers make at Mickey D’s — quite a career accomplishment for a 35 year old) will be automatically garnished, or whatever the word is, and sent to my mother. So maybe he won’t get away with it after all.

You can tell it’s Independence Day, because it’s foggy and cloudy. Yesterday was hot, sunny, and clear, but Ma Nature knows right when the 4th of July is and brings on the fog, almost every year. So most years, our fireworks display is just a bunch of colored fog accompanied by noise. Wonder how many people come here on vacation and are disappointed by the foggy fireworks? Probably as many as there are San Franciscans who can’t get on cable cars during the summer because they’re packed with tourists. Hey, Muni, why don’t you run more cable cars during the summer? At $2 a head, it will be worth your while.

Despite the weather, and despite the fact that I’m solidly half English, having an English father, I love Independence Day and all it stands for. I know we have our share of problems, but you show me anywhere that does it better.

Happy anniversaries to Candi!

A belated happy birthday to my fabulous niece Cat, who turned 19 yesterday! Happy birthday, baby!

You probably noticed that Rufus didn’t write in my blog after all. Too busy getting into trouble and doing chores.

I had a great weekend in the country. It’s so beautiful and peaceful up there, and there’s time to sit in the hammock and read while hummingbirds buzz around the garden. My sister Megan and I helped our brother Jonathan to choose a kitten to adopt from the local Humane Society on Saturday. He’s white and tabby, with really cool markings, and is the perfect combination of cuddly and rowdy. One of the main items on the kitten’s job description is to get rid of the mice in Jonathan’s house, through intimidation or any other means necessary. Jonathan’s dog, Jed, doesn’t mind the kitten, but Jonathan’s 14 year old cat Mars is NOT the kitten’s biggest fan. Yet.

We took Jed swimming in the river on Sunday. It is amazing, but we had the place to ourselves, and all we could hear was the wind in the trees and the birds singing. How great is that when you’re in one of most populated states in the union? Jed had a great time chasing the ball in the water, I got a little sunburned, and it was so much fun!

Sunday also marked Megan & Rob’s 10th anniversary.

Jonathan made his famous chicken crepes for dinner, served with a fantastic salad and his homemade cider. After dinner, we sat in the hot tub and listened to an old radio play (broadcast by KNX in LA every night at 9:00 p.m.) on my 1933 Atwater Kent radio which Jonathan is restoring for me. It doesn’t get much better than that.

Back in the city now and back to work. At least it’s a short day today and the Fourth of July tomorrow!

I’m off for a long weekend, visiting my brother and sister in the country. So I won’t be writing again until Monday or Tuesday, though you might be hearing from Rufus. Watch this space!

My friend Mary-Lou just made my day! She is one of my oldest and dearest friends — we went to high school together and she was my bridesmaid, along with my sister Megan. (Note to brides-to-be: don’t make the mistake I did and have bridesmaids who are cuter than you are.)

Although we don’t call or write that often, our bond is unbreakable, and when we do talk, it’s like we only saw each other yesterday. So what a wonderful surprise to pick up the phone and hear her voice. Half an hour later, my bad mood (caused by our administrative assistant’s enduring incompetence) has completely vanished. Who needs a therapist when you have a really good friend? Someone who knows how stupid you looked in high school (during the 80’s, too!) and still loves you? That’s truly special.

They say these things come in threes, and the third to join Carroll O’Connor and John Lee Hooker is Jack Lemmon. If there is an after-life, it’s much more entertaining now! However, it does mean that we on the earthly plain are getting seriously short of real movie stars. There aren’t too many left at this point of the old, glamorous Hollywood: Katharine Hepburn, Gregory Peck, Elizabeth Taylor, Lauren Bacall, Paul Newman, Jane Russell, Catherine Deneuve, Sophia Loren, Olivia de Havilland…that’s all I can think of off the top of my head, our remaining links to the elegant past.

Let’s hope NY is just the first of the 50 states to ban the use of cell phones while driving. It’s common sense that you can’t pay attention to the road, your driving, and other drivers as well as your phone conversation, all while going 70 mph. I’m only amazed that it’s been legal this long (but then, I feel the same way about veal). I wonder, though, if it will ever get passed in California. In LA, it’s the norm to chat on your cell phone while driving, preferably while repairing your make-up in the rearview mirror and scoping for celebrities. There may be some resistance there! On the other hand, where my brother and sister live, in Northern California, there are no cell phone towers, hence no signal and no problem.

Personally, I only even carry my cell phone when I’m driving, but only to call AAA in case my car breaks down, which has happened more than once (the perils of owning an old car). Other than that, I never carry it, and it’s only on when I’m calling someone. The thought of being constantly reachable fills me with horror, and I can’t understand why anyone would find that a good thing.

Maybe I’m just in a skeptical mood today, but I find it hard to believe that a vanilla-scented patch can really stop the craving for actual deep, dark chocolate. But if nicotine patches can work on the worst craving known to man, why not?

I also find the theory that the ancient Egyptians used kites to build the pyramids pretty ridiculous, too. Wouldn’t Ben Franklin have already figured it out if that were the case?

And finally…I still can’t believe it actually rained here yesterday. That should be unheard-of.

It was time to cut off the straggly split ends that were making my hair look like trailer trash, so yesterday I went to visit my hairdresser, Mauro, who practices his art at Elizabeth Arden on Post Street. I have been going to him for several years, and he understands that when I ask for a trim, I do NOT mean “please whack three feet off my hair”. The salon is right across the street from a very fancy bridal salon, so while we catch up on our gossip, we can watch brides-to-be twirling around in tres expensive dresses while they dream about their starry futures.

Mauro is probably one of the few non-gay hairdressers in this town. He’s an adorable party boy from Brazil, who has the best dish and a kaleidoscopic love life. He not only makes my hair look great, he makes me feel fabulous. If I win that $125 million lottery draw tonight, I’m putting him on retainer.

So it’s hardly surprising that I got construction worker attention (“Hey, sexy!!” accompanied with whistles) as I walked home, which gladdened the heart of this girl as she struts toward her 40th decade on earth. Why do girls resent this? Nothing like unbiased flattery to make your day.

Stopped in to see Charles, my friend and jeweler (in that order) on my way home. Hmmm, does having a jeweler sound pretentious? Surely not as bad as saying “my butler” or “my personal shopper”. Charles designed and made over my wedding rings and I buy nearly all my jewelry from him, so doesn’t that make him my jeweler? I guess I should probably admit right here that I have a weakness for jewelry and an incurable carbon addiction. But I only bought a tiny pair of gold hoops this time!

As a further ego booster (like I needed one, you’re thinking), Charles said that I looked “svelte and sassy”, so maybe all that dreary exercise is paying off at last. Went home and finally drank some of that Champagne my co-workers gave me for my birthday. The perfect end to my glama day.

The world is a little poorer today for the loss of a great actor and a great musician. Yesterday, we lost both Carroll O’Connor, best known as Archie Bunker on “All in the Family”, at the age of 76, and octogenarian blues legend John Lee Hooker.

“All in the Family” was a ground-breaking show, tackling themes never before handled on television, including rape and miscarriage. It’s probably difficult for those too young to remember when the show first aired how very controversial and shocking it was at that time, though it did eventually become a legend: witness Archie’s signature armchair being on permanent display at the Smithsonian Museum. O’Connor was a stage actor for 20 years before he was chosen to play Archie, and personally, I loved his warm, charming performance in the romantic comedy “Return to Me”, playing Minnie Driver’s adoring grandfather.

John Lee Hooker was one of 11 children born to a poor sharecropper in Mississippi 83 years ago. By 14, he was on the road performing, and he soon became a legend. In 1961, the Rolling Stones opened for him, and he also appeared with Bob Dylan the same year. His music is part of the foundations of rock & roll, and his influence can be heard in musicians as diverse as Bruce Springsteen and ZZ Top. No-one has his distinctive growl and voice, and it never lost its raw edge. I think John Lee himself said it best. “You know, I may not be too good at writing things down, but when it comes to creating a song from here”–pointing to his heart–“and here”–then to his head–“nobody can beat me.”

You will both be missed, but you will live on in your art and in your fans’ memories.

It’s the longest day of the year. So it’s all downhill from here, folks! The days will keep getting shorter until we’re going to work in the dark and going home in the dark, too. Isn’t that a happy thought? Happy summer solstice!

I love it that my firm just won Microsoft as a client, when Apple was already an existing client. And to make it even more amusing, Apple gave Microsoft an excEt reference for us!

It’s perfect that I will work on both accounts, since I have a PC with Microsoft software at work and an Apple Imac at home.

Even in my computers, there’s a separation between work (non-fun) annd real/home life (fun). This makes complete sense for a complete Gemini! And there’s nothing like a touch of irony to spice up an otherwise dull day.

And PS to all you Mac-haters out there…up until I bought my Imac a year or so ago, I had only used PC and didn’t know any better. But the breathtaking simplicity of setting it up, the complete lack of crashes, freezes and other problems that are common to PC users, and the amazing range of things it can do without special software, and OK, I admit it, its total cuteness, won me over immediately. Try it and you’ll be a convert, too. Or at least try it before you knock it again.

Although I usually assume that I am right in practically any situation, it’s always nice to have this belief reinforced by scientific fact. Ever since I was a little girl, mosquitoes have enjoyed my blood with the fervidness of an oenophile given a rare bottle of Chateau Lafite Rothschild in the Mojave Desert. My parents used to say, “If the mosquito children are good, they get Suzy for dessert.” This problem still plagues me, and now I know why: mosquitoes, like many men, can’t resist blondes! We may not have more fun, but we are more irresistible to blood sucking insects.

There seem to be more mosquitoes in San Francisco in the past couple of years than there were before. Hardly any houses or apartments in the city have window screens, since there’s a myth that there are no bugs here. It’s the same kind of thinking that has led to little or no insulation or reasonable heating in houses and apartments. Our apartment has no insulation and laughable baseboard heaters in the livingroom and bedroom, which we never use because they a) use up a ton of power and produce little heat; and 2) make everything smell like hot dust.

Getting back to the mosquito problem, I am very glad to see that a spider has been patiently building and re-building her web in the corner of our bedroom window over the past week or two. The window opens from both the top and the bottom, which is very useful when you have curious cats. So the web is undisturbed by us, and I hope she catches as many of those blonde-loving mosquitoes as she can eat!