Suzy Says

How it should be:

How it is:

Well, that was a long break! The longest – and only – break I have taken in 24 years of sharing my mindless thoughts with you. If you’re going to do it, do it! As the months slipped by, I began to feel the way you do when you have skipped too much school and every day makes it harder to go back to class.

But here I am, tardy slip in hand.

Anyone who knows me, knows that when they don’t hear from me, it is generally because things are not good. Which is why my tardy slip reads, “Please excuse Suzy. She was unable to withstand the slings and arrows of outrageous fortune.”

The most painful of these arrows was the loss of all three of my beloved cats last year. Losing my sweet Clyde was devastating, for me and for Dodge, who mourned his lost companion for many weeks, despite his normally sunny and ebullient nature.

I’m sorry to tell you that Dodge went out to play on a sunny morning in early September and was never seen again.  I was stunned with horror.  I learned from the local message boards that mountain lions had been seen at 10 am (when Dodge went out that day) and noon in our neighborhood, some even going up onto porches and looking in doors with no fear. I had never heard of such a thing before. They were always nocturnal to my knowledge.

The loss of both boys rocked my world. Dodge was one of the most remarkable beings I ever had the honor to meet, including humans. He lit up a room and carried beauty, joy and love with him like a shining light. It was especially painful to lose him as we moved into the literal darkness, along with the figurative one. He was only 8 years old, and I expected him to be the last cat I ever had. Fate had other plans.

So Audrey was the last one standing, even though it was just for a short while. There may have been some cackling from the Imperious Empress, who had never liked those boys. She won! Until she didn’t.

I always knew I would have to put Audrey to sleep, because she is so stubborn and just so Audrey. But I didn’t expect it to be so sudden. I will spare you the hideous details, but suffice it to say that the last night of her life was bad enough that I texted Megan at 5 am to say we needed to do the deed that day. It was about a month after losing Dodge.

Megan was awake because of her knee pain, and she made all the arrangements, picked us up, and drove us to the vet and then to the family estate. We buried Audrey under her own tree, facing toward the sunset and away from Clyde. She was 18 years old. A good, long reign for the last of the Empresses.

We planted calla lilies on Audrey’s resting place, and Clyde’s is now carpeted with daffodils, which bloom around the time we lost him, in early February. I added a marker for Dodge to Clyde’s plant at home:

So they are still together, in a way.

A YEAR AGO: Having a lovely time with Megan and Monica.

FIVE YEARS AGO: All about the grandfather clock.

TEN YEARS AGO: The play’s the thing. Or two.

FIFTEEN YEARS AGO: A happy day at the river.