Suzy Says

It’s only a month until my birthday. Unfortunately, Santa is a slacker, working one day a year and taking the rest off, so there’s no point in sending him my wish list. Especially since I’m rarely, if ever, nice. But there’s nothing to stop me from sharing it with you.

1. Mad Men Barbies

As so often happens, just one is the thin edge of the wedge. You live your entire life Barbie-less, and wham! You see “The Birds” Barbie and must have it. I bought it as a housewarming present to myself (almost the same housewarming capabilities as the propane heater, though much cuter) and love it. And it was half-price, making it almost guilt-free!

Now that I know the joys of Barbie love, I want more. And who can blame me? Check out the visual aids:

Unfortunately, they cost about $75 each, putting them neatly outside the realm of possibility. Unlike my $19.99 Tippi Hedren. And of course I want the whole set.

2. Feather Ring

This is by Georgina Chapman (of Marchesa) for Garrard, jewelers to the Royal Family (including some of the Crown Jewels). Much more modest than a Crown of State, but would still give a girl’s outfit a certain je ne sais quoi.

3. Feather Shoes

In keeping with the purple feather theme, how about these beauties:

They’d look great next to my only other pair of Manolo Blahniks, also slingbacks, but in lavender suede. Too bad a girl can’t wear more than one pair of shoes at a time.

4. Chanel Jade Nail Polish

Introduced last Fall, it’s already sold out, making it doubly unavailable to Self, since I couldn’t afford the original $49.95 price tag, and it’s selling for more than twice that on eBay. Even I think paying three figures for nail polish verges on madness.

I’ll have to settle for No Miss nail polish in the delightfully-named Cape Haze Crypto, a mere $6 at a health food store which bills itself as (insert groan here) a worker’s collective. Almost sucked all the frivolity out of buying it.

5. Eye Spackle

That’s what I call Dermalogica’s Multi-Vitamin Power Firm. It magically fills in those little laugh (and cry) lines around the eyes, hence my nickname for it. Just because you’re almost thirty-eighteen doesn’t mean you have to look it. But magic doesn’t come cheap – it’s about $50 in this case. Which is why I’m still squeezing every possible molecule out of the tube I have.

If you really love me, I’d love this little place in North Beach. You’d have a guest room waiting for you any time!