Suzy Says

My car registration was due (almost $100 for the ennui/horror combo that is driving in California), and had a little love note on it saying that I had to have the car smogged, too. This was mysterious to me, since I bought the car less than two years ago.

I called my brother, who is my source for all things vehicular (also science-y), and he said that as far as he knows, you only have to do it when you buy the car.

Hmmm.

I figured it would be much easier to go to the DMV in Fort Bragg than it is in Oakland, and as usual, I was right*. Instead of a miles long line full of despairing people yelling into their cellphones and/or swatting their kids, there was one guy ahead of me and the whole thing, including waiting for the guy to be finished, took about ten minutes.

I also needed to change my address, and it was the perfect time to do it, because it turns out that if I stayed in Oakland, I would have had to pay to smog the car before they’d renew my registration. As if it’s not bad enough that it costs $45 to fill the car and the registration is nearly $100. Apparently, the rule is that in places with grubby air, like Oakland, you have to get your car smogged every year and a half, but in places with clean air, like Albion, you get a free pass. Another good reason to move!

On our way home, my sister amused me with Tales from the Ambulance. Today’s chapter: Ambulance Abuse.
Example One: A diabetic guy who lived in Mendocino and had a girlfriend in Fort Bragg but no car repeatedly called the ambulance, faked a diabetic episode, and when the ambulance arrived at the hospital, hopped out and took off for his lady’s lair. Free taxi! Well, he called a cab one too many times, and the EMTs cut his clothes off and dumped him in the parking lot wearing only a gown.
He never called 911 again.
Example Two: A woman felt she had been waiting too long in the Emergency Room waiting room. She went home, called 911, and the ambulance picked her up. When you arrive by ambulance, the EMTs take you straight to a room, bypassing the waiting room completely. It’s basically the VIP treatment. So her bad behavior was rewarded.
Can you believe it?

*Also, no-one stole anything out of the car in the DMV parking lot in Fort Bragg, unlike the time someone stole my GPS out of my car at the Oakland DMV. They also took a pack of matches and a pen. Somehow, stealing the pen bothered me more than the GPS. I mean, you couldn’t even leave me the pen?