May 29 2006
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This weekend’s Bad Girl Bad Movie was the cinematic masterpiece “The Brain That Wouldn’t Die”. The accompanying cocktails were, appropriately enough, filthy martinis (Sinatra-size glasses; extra Queen size olives – it’s a meal in a glass!).
The title brain (or head) belongs to the unfortunate girlfriend of a scientist teetering on the edge of madness. While whisking her away to his mansion in the country, he has a car accident which he survives, but his girlfriend is inexplicably decapitated a la Jayne Mansfield. There is a very entertaining scene where the head rolls downhill and the boyfriend chases and catches it. Fortunately for him, the mansion is close enough for him to run to it, clutching his raincoat-wrapped trophy. After all, most car accidents happen close to home, right?
The “mansion” appears to be made of cardboard. You can see it shake when doors are opened and closed. The Mad Scientist puts the head in a tray of liquid, and upon waking up, the head immediately starts complaining. A head after my own heart. No explanation is made as to how the head can talk with no lungs, or what the Mystery Liquid is.
There is no better excuse to look for a body to attach the head to, though the movie doesn’t bother with minor details like how he’s going to kill the body of choice. His prowess in attaching limbs doesn’t give you a lot of confidence when you see how his assistant’s hand, which the Mad Scientist grafted on his very own self, looks a lot like a foot.
His girlfriend’s sudden head removal means that the Mad Scientist can now look for the perfect body. He applies himself to the task with the dedication of true love, visiting a Body Beautiful contest (in which there were 4 finalists, despite the MC saying there were 5), a “camera club” (think Bettie Page with more clothes on) and a strange place in which girls wiggle around languidly in Bunny-like outfits (sans tails & ears – everyone’s missing body parts in this one) and then retreat to their dressing room for a cat fight, capped with a real cat’s meow in case you missed the point. Also, is it just me, or did the hand slapping the girl that started the fight look like a guy’s? Are there (or were there) hand doubles?