Dec 13 2004
The Not So Glamorous Assistant
The Not So Glamorous Assistant
The fabulous K, she of the evilly delicious chocolate martinis, somehow convinced me to accompany her to the depths of the country to be her assistant at an outdoor photo shoot. She must have caught me in a moment of extreme weakness or have powers of persuasion so superhuman that she could solve that pesky Middle East problem while refreshing her lip gloss, because:
1. I had to leave the house at 7:15 AM. That means morning, you know (theoretically – the sun very wisely and enviably still had its head under the covers at that ungodly hour). Yikes!
2. Being a photographer’s assistant is not the same as being, say, a magician’s. There are no sequins or outsize feathers involved. Damn!
3. The country: It’s another name for Nature, and you know how much I love that. It consists mostly of fields of nothing, also mud and lots of it. My poor little boots!
3. The outdoors is shockingly over-ventilated, rendering me a temporary Suzy-sicle. The shoot was for the cover of a magazine and involved a particularly handsome, yet recalcitrant dog who paid no attention whatsoever to my stage directions, even when I tried to lure him with treats. I hate it when males are immune to my charms.
On the other hand, there was a puppy of possibly illegal cuteness, with the result that my coat is now covered in puppy slobber and dog hair, but it was completely worth it.
PS: You decide which is weirder:
1. The fact that the dogs’ owner names them all after hotels; or
2. The fact that he thinks it’s really cool and kept telling us about it. Frequently.