Aug 02 2003

Leaving

Published by at 8:34 am under Uncategorized

Thanks to everyone for the outpouring of love and caring. Wow. I can’t tell how much I appreciate it, and what a difference it makes.

We’re just about ready to leave on the next stage of this strange journey. I realize that I have never before packed to go on a trip for an indefinite period of time. I could be gone for a few days, or a few weeks. So I’m bringing a lot of stuff. I’m beginning to wonder if we can lug it all to the bus stop. Where’s Hack when you need him? I bet he’d drive us the 30 miles to Petaluma, where we’re meeting my sisters.

It took me a long time to get myself to pack. I think it’s because packing meant it was real. I finally packed at 2 am last night. As I was packing, I picked up a pretty grey hand-knit sweater. At first I rejected it as too nice to be worn up there (no-one dresses up) but then, almost before I realized I was thinking it, if you follow me, I thought, “It will do to go the funeral home” and put it in the bag.

I was vividly reminded of helping my friend Mary-Lou pack to go home to see her father, who was dying of cancer. She matter-of-factly packed a black dress for his funeral Mass, saying simply, “I know I’ll need it this time.” If I were an actress and needed to cry in a scene, I’d remember the look on my dear friend’s face as she followed her father’s coffin into the church on a winter afternoon, knowing that there was nothing I could do to help her. And I was sitting beside my own beloved father at the time.

Years later, I too have lost my father. And I’m about to lose my mother. But the love and support of my family and friends will get me through it. Thanks again, everyone, for your thoughts and prayers. Keep ’em coming.

9 responses so far

9 Responses to “Leaving”

  1. # aimon 02 Aug 2003 at 6:05 pm

    There is another person out there that watches Hack! LOL 🙂

    Thanks for the thanks Suzy, but none are needed. We will stick by you through it all. Take care.

  2. # lisabon 02 Aug 2003 at 9:22 pm

    Just wish there was more we could do…. but we’ll be thinking of you for sure.

  3. # Michelleon 03 Aug 2003 at 9:35 am

    Suzy I am sorry to hear about your job and more importantly about your mum. Things happen for a reason and you are right, losing your job has afforded you the time to spend precious and valuable moments with your mum. You are in my thoughts.

  4. # DonBon 03 Aug 2003 at 9:41 am

    Suzy,

    I happened upon your site by way of my brother’s at william.beem.us. You had posted a comment (10/2002) expressing your condolensces after we lost my wife in an automobile accident only three weeks after losing our father to brain cancer. As you have already lost a parent, I don’t need to remind you about the importance of paying attention to any and everything that occurs around you – as this is can be very strong period of spirituality.

    You mention a curiosity to that effect in your 7/30 post. I believe that you DO get help through these times if you pay attention and accept it. I say this as someone who is not a particularly religious person, in the ‘proper’ sense, but as someone who – over an all too short, three-week period – saw his immediate family decrease from 5 members to three, and knows that he did, and continues to, receive a helping hand from time to time.

    All my best wishes to you and your family, along with the hope that your mother is as comfortable as she can be, and does not experience an inordinate amount of pain and suffering during this time. Take time to meditate and try to arrive at what it is that the events that are happening right now, mean to your own physical and spiritual future on this earth.

    My best thoughts and prayers.
    Don

  5. # Kellyon 03 Aug 2003 at 2:33 pm

    (((Suzy)))

    Thinking of you and your family and sending very positive vibes your way.

  6. # Pascale Soleilon 03 Aug 2003 at 3:55 pm

    Be blessed. You have my sympathy.

  7. # Michelleon 03 Aug 2003 at 10:56 pm

    What inspirational words from DonB – well done! This words should apply to everyone – in our daily lives – paying attention to everything around us. We will never know when one of our loved one’s will be taken from us suddenly and missed opportunities will always be a haunting reminder of what we could have and should have done.
    Create beautiful and precious memories Suzy.

  8. # Mitchon 04 Aug 2003 at 8:05 am

    I just wanted to drop a note and say how sorry I am to hear about what’s happening out your way. Words are hard to find in these circumstances so I’ll just say we’re thinking of you and your family. Take care.

  9. # Suzyon 05 Aug 2003 at 12:07 pm

    Thanks, everyone. You have given me a lot to think about, and a lot of support. Thank you!