Mar 19 2003
Bahston, pa’t one
You can blame the glacial slowness of dial-up in Boston, combined with its Diana Ross level of temperamental diva-ness, which manifested itself by suddenly disconnecting after a minute or so for what Forrest Gump would call no particular reason. And since you get charged a dollar for each call, that pretty much equalled forget about missives from the road. Or the hotel, anyway.
Seems like I really am one of the world’s slower learners, because once again my equation of theory and practice did not turn out to be correct. Too much theory and not enough practice led to my hanging out in the admittedly elegant lobby of the Parker House hotel for a length of time that was probably only endurable to a girl of my impatience due to a far more successful equation: 1 night’s lost sleep+1 five-hour flight+4 vodkas+2 valiums = zombie-like and uncharacteristically amenable state. When I made the reservation, I told the hotel receptionist that I’d be there by 8 a.m., having taken the oh so accurately named red-eye on the theory that it would give me a day to check out Boston.
But no, the room’s previous occupant, who can apparently give me a challenging run for my money in the slothfulness department, had failed to check out, so there I was. It was ass-freezing cold, so it didn’t really encourage me to venture outside. Instead, I finally answered lots of emails which had been sitting hopefully in my inbox, waiting for my love and attention. So that was good. Feeling virtuous, I decided to brave the cold, go outside, and soak up a little history.
When I had reached minimum core body temperature, I returned to the hotel to find that they had taken pity on me and decided to give me a more splendid room than the one occupied by the Sloth King of America, and at no extra charge. Really, it was almost too good for me, huge and along with the usual amenities, an office alcove (which would have been fab if only dial-up hadn’t been so Ross-ish), practically a living room with a sofa and chairs, and, get this, a treadmill. It may be the oldest continuously operating hotel in America, but it has definitely kept up with the times.