Nov 27 2002
Thanksgiving Eve
I’m off to my brother’s and sister’s for Thanksgiving in the country. I’m picking up Mom on the way, and I can’t even remember the last time we were all together for Thanksgiving.
The last time I was at my brother’s and sister’s for Thanksgiving was two years ago, when we found Dad lying in the mud on the dirt road between their houses after he had had a stroke. I rarely, if ever, pass by that spot without thinking of that night, and being up there for Thanksgiving for the first time since that fateful one is going to be hard. It won’t be the same day, obviously, but it will be the same holiday. We will all be thinking about it. but no-one will speak of it, unless Megan and I have some time alone, because Jonathan can’t or won’t talk about Dad.
Maybe it’s the way men cope with these things, but I want to tell him that you cannot skip or shorten the mourning process. You have to go through it and work through your feelings. There’s no easy way. Not talking about Dad or your feelings and memories about him will not make them go away. And it’s not morbid to speak of these things, as my brother believes. Rather, the opposite: it’s morbid and unhealthy not to.
Since my sis and I are on T-Day cooking duty, and I’m not bringing my iBook with me, there will be no Suzy updates until Sunday at the earliest. However, John is staying at home with our cats, so he might be inspired while I’m away.
Wishing you all a very happy Thanksgiving with your friends and loved ones. Have fun and stay safe!