Suzy Says

Sometimes, television triumphs over the movies.

Our plan for Friday night was: go to the Oak Town Caf&eacute for dinner, and then see Jaws at the glorious Paramount Theater. But that’s not what happened.

Before I tell you what really did happen, I’ll have to give you a (hopefully brief) overview of the events beyond our control which led to the destruction of our evening plans.

John is a well known telephile in addition to having a lifelong movie addiction, which is why our apartment closely resembles a BlockBuster (though with much better d&eacutecor) and also why we have 4 VCR’s and a satellite dish. The satellite “service” is provided by DirecTV, which seems to be entirely staffed by poor relatives of the Bush family. For reasons unknown to us, DirecTV decided recently that the access card in the receiver needed to be replaced for the first time in the nearly 10 years we have had it, though they neglected to inform us of this interesting and essential factoid. So we didn’t have HBO and other necessities of life.

John called them, they said they’d send us the new card. This happened three times, though without the card ever actually showing up. Finally, John got so irate with someone high enough up on the food chain that they promised to Fed Ex us the new card to be here on Friday. By now wise to their stupidity and capriciousness, he asked that they check the “leave without signature” box, since we would both be at work, slaving away to pay our DirecTV bill.

So I came home from a day of slaving away only to find a Fed Ex slip and no access card. I called John and told him, and we foolishly decided to go to Fed Ex and pick the damned thing up before heading to Oakland.

I called a cab half an hour before the time appointed to meet John, but cab was late and traffic horrendous, as befits Friday night. So I was late, and cab driver went the wrong way, so we ended up at a steeet going the wrong way, at which point I abandoned hope and the cab, paid up, and got out.

Met John and decided to walk the 6 blocks to Fed Ex, having forgotten that the blocks south of Market are industrial sized, being in an industrial area. Felt much like the Red Queen in “Through the Looking Glass”, getting nowhere fast. Finally got to Fed Ex. There were four people behind the counter, but the line refused to move. We waited in line for nearly half an hour. When we finally got up to the counter, we were informed that the package was next door and would have to be brought over. The procedure, possibly due to the industrial-sized blocks or the intelligence ceiling of the employees (more Bush relatives? Was it all a conspiracy?), also took half an hour. At this point, we realized that we were not going to make it to the movie.

So we did the only possible thing: went to Victor’s for dinner. The warm greetings of the waiters, the cozy, humble surroundings, the excEt food, the cheesy AM radio station playing the Rolling Stones, ZZ Top, and other 70’s favorites, and a couple of glasses of wine were all it took to restore our good humor and faith in human nature.

I am beginning to think I’ll never see that movie in the theater!