Suzy Says

Love/Hate for Friday, May 24, 2002
Showers

Showers. I hate them. Inside or outside.

Outside because rain is hideous, depressing, and uncomfortable. I firmly believe that it should only rain between November and March, and only while I’m asleep, but since the Universe is notoriously difficult to train, it generally takes no notice of the Suzy Rules.

As for indoor showers, they are hideous and uncomfortable (though not particularly depressing, since most showers don’t have a mirror in them, and even if they did, the mirror would be fogged up, obscuring the view more or less completely). Part of you is warm enough under the such spray as there is in California showers due to “low flow” rules, but part of you is cold and wet and usually adhering to the clammy plastic shower curtain, which is unpleasant in the extreme.

In addition to this, you are effectively blinded by the water, even if wearing your contact lenses. Shaving your legs is very challenging, since you are blinded and standing on one foot in the method popularized by flamingoes. The water is pouring down removing the soap or shaving cream put on your legs to facilitate the shaving process. All in all, not a good experience.

Perhaps I am not a sufficiently experienced showerer, but, to put it as delicately as possible, it’s very difficult to clean oneself thoroughly unless you have a hand-held shower or are a contortionist or possess the refinement of a bidet in your salle de bain.

So I find showers utilitarian but not efficacious, and anything but enjoyable. When we remodelled our bathroom a few years ago, we took out the shower. We have a clawfoot bathtub with a hand-held shower, and no shower curtain or other concessions to showerdom.

Baths, on the other hand, are blissfully relaxing and pleasurable. No-one ever says “Go and relax in a nice hot shower”, because you can’t. It’s like a battlefield in there, dodging the spray in the eyes, trying not to slice your legs open or slip and crack your head open. But in a bath, you can soak in bubbles or fragrant bath salts, to candlelight and music, or read, with a glass of wine to hand. All the bad stuff of the day just floats away as your muscles and mind relax.

Think of the difference between communal showers (gym class and prison) and communal baths. Bathing has had cultural and religious significance since the beginning of time, all over the world. Communal baths were a feature of daily life in the times of Ancient Rome, and the tradition still continues in Japan. Here in San Francisco, you can keep up the tradition at the Kabuki Springs & Spa, though clothing is required for the co-ed day.