Suzy Says

Cat Update:

Not much new. Ever since Suzy came back we?ve had everyone on the bed for long periods of time. Very cozy. Jack was being Ms. Cool yesterday morning. After I had my bath, and the water was still draining out of the tub, she was showing off, walking around the edge of the tub, and fell in. I was able to grab her before she ran off and got water everywhere, and then she had to suffer the indignity of being swaddled in a towel and having her feet dried. She gets pretty pissy when you mess with her feet, too. Whenever I clip her claws, she gives me a dramatic open-mouthed dangercat hiss telling me to back off.

Things That Still Piss Me Off After All These Years #15:

When I was a kid I was an ?Air-Force Brat,? which means that every haircut I got until I was old enough to have a say in things was a hideous short-back-and-sides military job that looked like it cost fifty cents. Add to that my hard-to-believe Man From Planet Dork thick-framed glasses and an incredible ability to walk into walls and crash my bike which left me pretty much always with scrapes and cuts on my face and chipped teeth, and I looked like a little Frankenstein. And that look is immortalized in, like, a thousand family snapshots. And that pisses me off.

Women Are Strange #400:

Whatever happened to the girl next door? On crap TV shows like Entertainment Tonight, Extra, shit like that, they always have segments on the latest hot Playboy Playmate, and every once in a while I see one and say, ?Wait a minute.? Having become acquainted with Hefner?s magazine at an early age and having accidentally perused one or two lines of print, I know that one of his founding principles along with the T&A, was that the Playmates should be ?the girl next door.? Well all I can say is that the girl next door must have a rich daddy, because these days it seems like every other Playmate has implants. Now, I can understand a serious makeover, or a surgical tweak to the nose, or a major dental overhaul, but should that much plastic be presented in a mag that prides itself on realistic tits and ass? Yeah, I know that girls rarely get naked and fondle themselves when washing the car or horseback riding or working late at the office? at least, I don?t think they do, but goofy poses and settings aside, shouldn?t they at least be real? I don?t know. Maybe I?m just getting old. (PS- no naughty links necessary in this one. I don?t want to lead anyone underage into restricted areas ?which probably make up about 98.9% of the web these days, and you don?t have to download nekkid pitchurs or buy the magazine to see what I?m talking about. Fake tits shout ?fake tits!? when they are covered or exposed.)

Random Notes:

So, I?m in the can at work this morning and Gutman comes bursting in. Thirty seconds later I feel like I?m experiencing a gas attack in a Tokyo subway as my eyes start to water and my nose starts bleeding. Jesus! What the HELL is this guy eating? Day-old road kill? Medical waste? Plain old-fashioned garbage? He needs to either change his diet or see a doctor. I wish we lived in the future. A science-fictiony future, in which people with unbearably stinky shit are shipped out to the far side of the moon, for the betterment of humanity.

Oh, and I got new pants! Yeah man, new pants. They are big pants. Very comfortable too. Can?t beat a good pair of pants.

Sometimes when I?m bored, I hit Google with a bizarre word combo just to see what comes up. Usually it?s porn (as it appears anyone will fuck anything with anything) but once in a while you hit gems like these-

Random Google: ?Radioactive cheese? 1 result

(1) here and,

(2) here

Final Question:

Isn?t it funny that, as you get older, you realize that everything that happens in life is just the same old shit coming around the bend again? As kids we try to knock down that idea, and we use things to show that we aren?t the same, we?re a whole new breed because of our gadgets. And then as the years pass, we see it happen again and again and realize that nothing ever changes (the net, email, MP3 players, DVDs, cell phones, Discmans, satellite TV, cable, VCRs, personal computers, Walkmans, ATMs, stereos, cassettes and eight-tracks, color TV, touch-tone phones, long-playing records, transistor radios, black and white TV, your own phone, your own car, radio, newspapers and magazines, trains, your own horse, anything with a wheel on it, your own fire?) As far back as you want to go there is always a generation that has come along thinking that they are better or more advanced because of the creature comforts they enjoy, and they won?t realize, until they?ve lived a few years, that no matter how advanced or wired we get or how long we live, people will still be people, and most people will be shit, and the sooner you learn that, the closer you will come to reaching peace of mind by knowing when, where, how and who you should tell to go fuck themselves.

-Rufus