Suzy Says

Textbook Ephemeral

Progress Report

   Nov 26

Progress Report

So…yeah. T Day Eve did not go exactly as planned.

I was delusional enough to think that I could get to work early and leave around noon. It soon became apparent that this would not happen, and I was madly typing up hand-written penciled pages at 3:00 PM. As I did so, a tumbleweed or two drifted past my office, since most of the staff had the sense to take the day off.

As I handed my boss the last page, I asked her when it was due. She blithely replied “A month ago,” begging the question of why we absolutely had to get it done the late afternoon before Thanksgiving, when the person we were sending it to was almost certainly not at work. She then added brightly, “At least you’re leaving early!”

On the drive home, I mentally revised the list of things I could now achieve with the limited time I had left. I applied lights to the tree in the outdoor living room to make it more festive, and then turned my attention to the chestnuts. I soon discovered that keeping them in the pantry was unwise, since more than half a dozen of them were moldy. I cut Xs on the remaining ones so deeply that I practically cut them in half (though it did make it easier to peel them when the time came). I put them in to roast, made an adult beverage, and started on the cranberries.

To make the cranberries, you mince up shallots and zest an orange, then put them in a saucepan with an entire cup of Jack Daniel’s in it, then heat it until it gets syrupy. I was moving the saucepan around on the gas burner when somehow the contents caught on fire and I flambĂ©ed it a little. I blew it out, hoping it wasn’t the wrong thing to do, but I am pleased to report that both cranberries and Self are fine.

That was all I could do that evening, so this morning I woke up and roasted carrots, made a delightful spice butter to accompany them, and made two pans of stuffing before stuffing the turkey in the oven. I had a text from a friend telling me that he’s bringing a friend who is, not to put too fine a point on it, a convicted felon. Why not? Bring me your ex boyfriends, your kindergartners, your ex cons. I feel like the Statue of Liberty over here. At least the outdoor living room is ready:


And things are under control inside:


I put my grandmother’s ivory-handled silver in her Wedgwood biscuit jar (circa 1820). The salad dish will hold the roasted carrots and the Majolica jug will have gravy in it. I hope I have enough glasses and plates! Time will tell.

As for me, my hair is curled and I’m wearing lots of diamonds. If not now, when? My mother used to say if your diamonds never see the light of day, they might as well have stayed in the ground. I’m as ready as I’ll ever be. And I’m thankful for everything from the turkey in the oven to my sleeping sister who saved a life last night to grumpy Audrey to all of you. Thank you for sharing my adventures. I am thankful for all of you.

A YEAR AGO: You will never guess!

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  1. Joy Fielder says:

    I don’t know how you do it, Suzy! You really are a remarkable girl I hope all went well and look forward to hearing about the result of all your endeavours.

    I do hope you can find a more suitable job in the very near future – do keep trying and don’t give up hope that somewhere out there there is the perfect job for you with a more caring and compassionate boss – oh! and with a decent salary to go with it! This is my wish for you.

  2. Tim says:

    It all sounds wonderful, especially after having my own Thanksgiving dinner in bed. Wondering if a beat up old Alaskan would have been welcomed among the felons and kindergateners and a diamond studded hostess.

  3. suzy says:

    You are welcome anytime!

  4. Guy says:

    Never a dull moment for you Suzy, seems like everywhere you work, you have to pull more than your own weight. Anyways, I do know that you will get over this and once you put on the diamonds and dress up, it will get easier to forget work. Hope you have a great meal and enjoy yourself, you deserve it. I am also thankful for your stories and adventures, keep it up.

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