The New Audrey

Clyde rests up from a day of naughtiness

No cold water was needed in the shower on this chilly morning. The water never gets that hot on cold days, since the flash heater is located outside rather than inside, as the manufacturer wisely suggests. Even Whoosh! couldn’t clear the cobwebs from my head (or the ones on the drafty window in the shower).

I blame Clyde. The new Audrey.

Lately my little outlaw has been waking me up around 4:00 am with his distinctive meowing coupled with walking (literally) all over me. The next move is to sit on my bedside table and start messing around with things – my latest library book, say, or the little bronze cat I brought back from Paris – while meowing. Lather, rinse, repeat.

Once I finally get up, Clyde still rushes to the food bowls (if there is a bare spot in any of them, he makes sure to bring it to my attention). He has yet to learn that milling around under my feel actually delays the feeding process and may lead to being stepped on by sleepy Staff.

As soon as he’s eaten, he races to the glass door and starts asking to be let out. He emphasizes his point by clawing at the drapes (which are only there to block drafts in the winter and the sun in the summer – the doors look out on the garden and endless trees). When that doesn’t work, it’s on to the sofa. I have had to take the screens off the speakers in the living room since he decided they looked like nothing so much as giant scratching posts.

Sound familiar? I’m not sure I can handle two out of three cats driving me crazy before coffee every day. it makes me appreciate Roscoe all the more. He comes in at night, slinks over to the food dishes, and then wends his way upstairs and goes to bed, where he stays until the heater goes on in the morning – assuming that the weather is up to his high standards. Then he goes outside and plays, including shocking athletic feats like jumping from the post* where the old hot tub used to be onto the roof. He does have a habit of collecting lizards, but that’s about the worst I can say about him. I hope he’s not the next one to start breaking bad!
*Yes, it’s still there.

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3 comments on “The New Audrey

  1. Guy

    Wow, these guys are keeping you busy and you have to be on your toes with it all, but I can assure you that they also bring you more love and attention to compensate for their bad habits. I always say, if more people would have hearts like cats and dogs, what a wonderful world it would be.

  2. Joy

    I find that cats have great expectations of their owners….for instance, I am unable, ever, to eat my breakfast without my chair being seconded by Daisy, who always needs her fur combed first….while Phoebe prowls around yowling – I really think that she has ideas about opera – waiting for Daisy to vacate my chair. Once I gain my chair, Phoebe likes to get onto my lap, just in case there are any spare crumbs spilt. I am having great difficulty in getting her used to the idea that her bowls are on the tray over in the corner of the kitchen – the table is verboten !! And so it goes on …..daily. This routine only started about 6 months ago…..I wonder how I am going to break this trend….?
    So you see, Suzy, I can empathize with you entirely.


  3. suzy

    They definitely own us, not the other way around! And they’re talented at finding new ways to be naughty!

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