This year (well, last year), I seriously considered not sending out Christmas cards. I still haven’t reconstituted my lost address book, unless you count scraps of paper and flagged emails. I can’t really explain my reluctance to do so, other than innate slothitude and all the names I can no longer put in it.
In the end, I sent them out unfashionably late, spending about a zillion dollars on postage. It’s close to a dollar a pop for anywhere other than the US of A, and it adds up quickly.
Imagine my surprise and horror when they started to be returned. Well, the Canadian ones, anyway. They bore a sad red stamp telling me that the cards, at about 3.25 inches, were too small to be processed by Canada Post. Though apparently they were not too small to be sent back by the same means. Go figure.
Characteristically, the US approach was to hold the card hostage until the recipient paid a 20 cent ransom/extortion fee to redeem it. The cards are too small to go through the machine, so they have to be done by hand. Apparently American posties’ time is worth about 20 cents a second. Not for the first time, I think I’m in the wrong job.
So if any of you did not receive a Christmas card from me, it’s either being returned or being held in an undisclosed location. Maybe it’s a sign that I should just give up on the whole thing.