Suzy Says

For some reason, there are always pine needles in the shower. I have no idea how they get there.

The floor of the shower is painted, so it’s a little slippery. I’m pretty sure that the resolution ending Calamity Suzy episode of all time is going to happen in there, sooner or later. To try and avert the inevitable, the last time I was in the city, I picked up some clear pebble Tub Treadz* and a matching bath mat. I thought the pebbly look was good for the country. And everything in this house is slightly (or extremely) irregular.

I was slightly stymied, as so often happens, by the instructions. “Apply to a clean, dry surface”, it says in a breezy manner, as if that were something easily attained. It’s almost impossible to attain either for me. The shower never drains completely, and there’s always renegade dirt and pine needles in there. I’m not sure how to achieve the requisite cleanliness and dryness, so the Tub Treadz are still cutely in their package for now, and possibly forever.

I have been using the bath mat, but I overlooked the fact that plastic doesn’t absorb either water or the aforementioned detritus of Nature the way fabric bath mats did. Although it’s a little cold and squishy to step onto, it doesn’t show the dirt or add yet another color to the tiny room.

The inside of the doors is red, while the outsides are blue. The floor is lime green. Electric lime green. And it extends into what should be the foyer, which has a blue door. One of these days, I’d like to put black and white tiles down and paint the blue door white. In the meantime, I try to avert my eyes. Though the lime green is somewhat toned down by the mud that is inevitably tracked into the house.

The bathroom itself is unheated, and the walls appear to be made of particle board or plywood mostly, as is the lime green floor. So it’s really not all that far, literally or figuratively, from the outdoor shower, which is on the porch right outside the bathroom. Especially when you factor in the wildlife that likes to congregate in there: spiders and bugs, and I once found a huge black slug in the non-draining shower and a tiny scorpion in the equally tiny sink.

It’s nice and warm when you’re actually in the shower – assuming that the flash heater doesn’t get blown out – and you can enjoy the view of the garden and the non-functioning hot tub as you shampoo. You might even see a passing PG&E meter reader or a deer. When you get out, though, it’s pretty chilly, despite the room being fogged up. But that’s easily solved by opening both doors: the one to the back porch and the one to the foyer.

*They reminded me of the rubber daisies we use to have in the bathtub when I was a kid.