Suzy Says
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Buses, Bullies & Boys (Oh My)
November 18th, 2008 by suzy in Jessica

Jessica may only be five years old, but she’s already learning about boys. And girls.

She changed her top while a friend was visiting, confidently predicting that when he saw the wardrobe change, “he’s gonna be all, like, whoa“. No girl over the age of five reading this will be surprised to hear that not only did he not say “whoa”, he didn’t even notice. Better get used to it, kid.

At school, Jessica has discovered that girls can be mean. I thought Mean Girls syndrome didn’t start until high school, or at least junior high. Kindergarten seems kind of young to me, but I’m behind the elementary school times. A girl cut in front of her in line, and Jessica naturally objected. Mean Girl refused to get behind Jessica, and Jessica refused to back down. Things escalated, and Mean Girl threatened to tell the teacher.

Jessica, realizing that Mean Girl wouldn’t actually dare to tell the teacher, since she’d have to admit she started it, immediately responded, “Go ahead. Be my guest.”

Clearly, this was not the way things were expected to go, so Mean Girl, having no Plan B or comeback (though undoubtedly she thought of one long after she got home and it was too late to use it) gave up and got in line.

The next time I need some advice, I know who to ask. A girl who can handle school buses and bullies with equal aplomb will know just what to do.

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5 Responses

It’s incredible how mean some kids are. You wonder how they get to be that way, particularly at such an early age.

I wonder what Jessica will do with her life – clearly she is meant for great things.

Excellent story.

jx

Jessica’s strategy this week is the phrase, “Thank you for sharing!” She’s found that it stops the little bitches in their tracks and gives them nothing to say back.

She’s also only playing with the cool first grade boys, and now I bet the mean girls hate her eeeeeven more.

muahahahhahahahahah.
~her Mom

Also, I can’t believe this stuff starts SO EARLY now!!!!! I’m flabbergasted. Would it be bad form to advise her to kick them in the teeth?

Kids are so much different these days from when we were kids. It’s crazy!!! They’re so much smarter and more aware.

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