Politics Suzy-Style

I usually leave serious topics like politics to greater and wiser blogs than mine, but the need to complain has outweighed more weighty considerations.

Is it just me, or have the primaries gone on forever? I think they started when I was approximately 18, and now look! There are either too many states (really, 50 does seem a little excessive) or too many primaries. Isn’t there some way of streamlining this process? I can’t believe we have eight count ’em months until the actual elections. That’s almost a whole year, you know. Almost a whole year of bickering that would be considered petty in a grade school school yard. Almost a whole year of pointless, repetitive rhetoric. Almost a whole year of boredom. And you know how I feel about that.

Unable to escape the political tide every time I put the TV on (it’s either the primaries or Britney Spears, take your pick), I noticed that Barack Obama’s ears stick out in a truly comic manner. Now that I?ve noticed, I can?t stop staring at them whenever he?s on TV. I also think his name sounds like a noise a bird would make on ?The Flintstones?, maybe one of the ones they have doing all the work. ?Ba-ROCK, Ba-ROCK!? Something like that. I wonder if he ever wishes his parents had given him a middle name like Steve instead of Hussein. I did vote for him, though, in my spare time when I wasn?t musing over his name or mentally making over Hillary and then giving up on it.

As for the Republicans, I’m glad that Huckabee dropped out, not only because he’s a bananaheaded weirdo (“training our children to be our replacements”), but because it would be so embarrassing to have a president named Huckabee. It’s too silly. Maybe in Mr. Roger’s Neighborhood, but not in the real world.

Whenever I hear McCain’s name, I think of frozen food. Coincidentally, his wife’s face is so frozen that she looks like a scary doll. Barbie for First Lady?

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