Nov 11 2006

The Impatient Patient

Published by at 8:17 am under Uncategorized

Well, my results weren’t quite as good as these. I expected the wiretap to reveal that my heart was about the size of a pre-reformation Grinch’s and as lazy as the rest of me. Turns out that my heart is the only overachieving part of my slothful self, racing away while the rest of me idles.

The doctor, while telling me not to worry, sends me for another test. As a child, you naturally fear and loathe tests, even the word “test” or thought of it, and believe me, there is no reason to change your opinion on that once you grow up. In fact, the tests get worse, and the grades are a lot more important. Forget about that permanent record*!

So I had the test, and the test administrator refused to give me results. I think she was a bitter doctor wannabe or has-been, because she informed me that my doctor “gets a big salary” to tell me. Oh, and I have to wait yet another week to get the results, and you know how patient I am (not at all).

In fact, my lack of patience has led me to turn off the comments again. I couldn’t take the spamstorm anymore, and looking at them in order to delete them made me annoyed or grossed out, and it seemed to take forever. Told you I was impatient.

*Hey, kids: your “permanent record” does not exist. It’s just something they tell you at school to scare you and try to keep you in line. Don’t tell your parents I told you this deep, dark secret!

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