God Fearing

There was a knock at the door this morning. Rita started barking, like the good watch dog she is, explaining to the visitor that any evil deeds toward her girl would be rewarded with teeth and claws. Rita got to the door before I did, my heart pounding with fear in case it was Phil repoing Rita. Could Fate be that cruel?

Fate wasn’t. Imagine my relief when I found out that it was only a Jehovah’s Witness/Witless. Rita and I both told him how very uninterested we were, and shut the door. I bet it’s one of the few times someone was actually relieved to see one of those itinerant religion-pushers.

They can certainly be persistent. One actually found his way to my brother’s house a few years ago. Bear in mind that my brother lives at the end of a long dirt road in the depths of the country. I don’t know why the guy thought there were any souls to be saved there, but he didn’t get the chance, since my brother greeted him with his barking dog and a shotgun (unloaded), saying, “We don’t need no God ’round here.” The missionary departed hastily, mission unaccomplished.