Suzy Says

I coughed myself awake this morning, and that’s even worse than being woken up by the phone* or someone snoring, or, say, a noisy older sister barging into a house for coffee (I know who I am). I have progressed to the achy-breaky bod (even my fingers – practice for arthritis! Awwwriiight!) and chills.

However, I have a project due at the end of the day tomorrow, so it’s drippy nose to the grindstone. Maybe that will get me a nose transplant. I’m thinking something retrousse. What do you think?

Speaking of work, I was delighted to learn that all the folks at my last job who laid me off were laid off themselves. I couldn’t help a wicked little snicker and a passing thought that maybe they just couldn’t make it without Me. Hope that doesn’t bring bad karma my way. What do you think, Earl? In my mind, their dastardliness definitely deserved the snicker and thoughtlet.

Once I knock off for the day, I’m going to try my father’s cold remedy: whiskey. Though in my case, it’s bourbon, bein’ the Yankee Do-Little that I am. I remember being awed when I was a kid by Dad’s ability to swill gin (shudder) and codeine immediately before a lecture (medicating a toothache until the dentist’s office opened the next day) and doing a great job. What a role model!

*I am reminded of a Calvin & Hobbes cartoon in which Calvin asks his father why they don’t have a computer, so they could be connected to the whole wide world. His father replies, “Because it’s bad enough we have a phone.”

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