Jan 27 2006

Give Me Some Credit

Published by at 10:11 am under Uncategorized

Sure, there are great things about working freelance and/or part-time. You can sleep in, work strange hours, wear pajamas (or nothing!) all day, and are blissfully free of office politics and soul-destroying commutes. On the other hand, you can’t steal office supplies or gossip by the water cooler or rely on a steady paycheck.

The lack of the steady paycheck led to my missing two months’ payments on my one and only credit card (other than Victoria’s Secret, but it’s hard to buy groceries, gas or plane tickets with it, for some reason). When the apartment sold, I paid off the balance, and a few days later, foolishly tried to use it. It was declined. I was confused. I called the friendly folks at Customer Service, and guess what they told me?

If the bill isn’t paid for two months running, “in 85% of cases, the card holder has passed on.”

They weren’t kidding. Either Visa card owners have an exceptionally high mortality rate, or this is their party line to the folks whose finances have declined to the point that their card is, too. Oh, and the past due amount in my case was a whopping $200.

The Customer Service mortician said that you cannot have your account reopened, even if you have paid off the balance and are not in fact dead. You have to reapply, and let’s guess that the rejection rate for live people who have had their account summarily slammed shut after more than a decade of dedicated use, no longer own a home, and are partially employed is even greater than the assumed mortality rate of those who haven’t paid their bill for 60 whole days.

So where does that leave our heroine? She will have to {gasp!} live within her means;and/or pay cash for everything (except lingerie); and/or get herself a sugar daddy. All suggestions and introductions welcome.

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8 responses so far

8 Responses to “Give Me Some Credit”

  1. Amberon 27 Jan 2006 at 11:38 am

    My vote is to get yourself a sugar daddy!

    Man, what a serious pain in the ass. That’s completely unfair!

  2. cassie-bon 27 Jan 2006 at 1:30 pm

    Sugar daddy sounds good to me. It involves a lot less paperwork.

    Cas

  3. Mikeon 27 Jan 2006 at 7:22 pm

    Let me get this straight. I don’t pay my Visa for 2 months and they’ll just figure I’m dead? Holy crap! Who knew it was so easy? All this time I was afraid of lawyers and collection agencies?

  4. Pascale Soleilon 29 Jan 2006 at 1:11 pm

    Or, you could wait a couple of months and watch the offers come rolling in through the mail.

    They will.

    The interest rates will be appalling, but if you pay them off in full each month, it might work.

  5. babson 29 Jan 2006 at 2:29 pm

    to Pascale: yes, but if she paid them off in full each month, she wouldn’t get to be presumed dead!

    Suzy, I say go with the sugar dadddy!

  6. Kathleenon 30 Jan 2006 at 5:12 am

    Craziness! I’m thinking that they don’t actually presume you’re dead, but it’s easier to say that to someone than argue with them after you’ve called them a deadbeat for not paying their bills for two months. TWO months? Geez, that’s a little quick. Did they think of calling and asking?

  7. Suzyon 30 Jan 2006 at 10:03 am

    I found it incredible that they didn’t call me or send me one of those dire notices, either.

    Seems pretty fast to me, too.

    I guess they figure the heirs are slow at notifying them & paying up the dead’s deadbeat debts!!!

  8. Alisonon 30 Jan 2006 at 4:11 pm

    *takes notes*

    I can’t believe they didn’t call you to find out where your payments were. Wish my student loan people would do that. I mean, not call. And assume I’m dead. And erase my debt. 😉