Jan 07 2005
How to Have a Really Rude Awakening:
– Stumble out of bed in usual zombie-like state, seeking caffeine.
– In pre-caffeinated state and bare feet, enter kitchen.
– Discover that kitchen floor is covered in cold water*.
– Consider going back for slippers, but feet are already wet, so what’s the point? Momentarily reflect on the wisdom of stepmother’s distaste for my wandering around in bare feet (though said distaste dated from her childhood, when bare feet were a sign of poverty).
– Splash over to counter and make coffee, which is pretty much unnecessary at this point, the shock of cold water having the approximate effect of a triple espresso.
– Go to bathroom, and discover that something esoteric within the mysterious interior of the tank has gone on strike or vacation or simply died, much mourned by all.
– Reflect on stupidity of getting a degree in linguistics instead of learning to be a plumber.
– Go back to bed.
*Mini-flood caused by there being too much water outside, so the leftovers came inside. I’m telling you, the entire goal of Nature is to get inside your house.