Suzy Says
Radio Nowhere
Eek!
October 6th, 2004 by suzy in Uncategorized

The sinus infection has receded, after repeated applications of A’n’A (antibiotics & alcohol). I am now enjoying my convalescence (and I do mean enjoying), lying on the chaise longue like an interesting Victorian invalid, with a becoming pallor and the occasional, delicate sniffle and most lady-like of dainty coughs to remind any observers that I was, in fact, quite ill.

I was attempting to take my mind off the horror of my Giants losing the wildcard spot in the playoffs to Houston* (As if Texas hadn’t inflicted enough damage already, what with spawning the Bush dynasty and the unfortunate idea that cowboy boots are acceptable footwear with a business suit) by reading the latest in the fluffacious Shopaholic** series, when a mouse shot across the room as if fired from a cannon.

Maybe the Victorian thing goes deeper in this moderne girl than previously thought, because I leaped up and screamed with my hand on my heart in the most approved endangered heroine style before I even realized I did it. If the chaise (and I) weren’t so squashy I would have jumped up on it and probably shrieked, “Eeek! A mouse!” to complete the clich&eacute ridden scenario.

It’s amazing how instinctively horrified I was by a creature that’s so tiny. I’m probably like a Tyrannosaurus Rex to it, and possibly too big for it even to perceive me, and it’s far more likely that I could kill the mouse than it could kill me (other than rodent-induced heart attack), but I was probably more scared than it was.

It hasn’t made a return engagement, but everyone I have told about it informs me that there’s Never Just One, in ominous tones. My sis suggested a Have a Heart trap, forgetting that not all of us live in a little house in the big woods, where you can release a mouse and never see it again, until I started laughing. Also there is no point in putting bugs and other home invaders outside. All they want is to get back in. Even insects and rodents can tell that Nature is best to be avoided if at all possible, which is why they broke in in the first place. I can’t bear the idea of a trap and having to dispose of the sad little body (or bodies, since there’s Never Just One). What to do, what to do?

*Sporty Suzy has officially gone into hibernation. I have no interest in any of the teams now in the playoffs, other than hoping very earnestly from the depths of what passes for my heart that neither the Dodgers nor the Yankees win. Also if Houston plays NY I doubt if there is a stadium big enough to contain the egos of both Mr. Jeter and Mr. Clemens at the same time.

**With apologies to my dear Kathleen, who quite rightly objects to the heroine’s excesses. But being nouveau pauvre (can it still be nouveau after all this time, though?), all my shopping and excess has to be done vicariously now.

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8 Responses

I say just go with the standard, proven mouse trap.

Kill it……. quick…… before it breeds and you have an army of them inside.

Am pleased your sinus infection is clearing up.

Find the internal hole, Suzy, and then get some steel wool and fill it. They can’t chew through it and they’ll have to find a different Victorian/moderne heroine to scare to death.

Also, I’m with you on the regular mousetraps. Way back when (when I was still dating the asshole from hell), I had a mouse and he set up the mousetrap and then took a nap. I was cooking chicken (I was a faux vegetarian in those days) and I heard something snap and thought I needed to baste the chicken. I went into the kitchen in time to see the tiny little thing in the midst of its death throes. It was not pretty and made me very sad. Just say No!!

Oh, and you’re so sweet! You linked to my diary!!!!

There really is Never Just One. I was all about releasing them until one day I put my hand into the tortilla chip bag and came in contact with one sharing the bag with me. I, too, screamed and ran like a little girl. I was utterly horrified.

Now I feel they need to be taken care of. I like the steel wool idea though, I’d try that first!

I have a feeling you really know how to properly convalesce – some people just don’t have the skill for it. I hope you have an emboroidered hanky to wave around when people are distressing you particularly (ala Mrs. Collins in P&P).
😉

Eww! I’m going to move! Let someone else deal with Mr. Mouse!

Don’t kill the poor thing! You should try to catch it. And release it – just far away from YOUR house. And we had a mouse once. And yes, there was only just one. It was quite a funny mouse, because we tried to feed it bread once. And it ate it. But wouldn’t eat cheese – is the stereotype in fact false?

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