Suzy Says

Here at the L’n’L Ranch (Languid & Lethargic), the level of slothfulness is approaching, in the parlance of our self-appointed government, Orange (High). To be honest, though, it rarely, if ever, dips below Yellow (Elevated) at the best of times, seeing as how I’m domestically disabled.

Evidence of the High Sloth Level:

– The groceries I bought two days ago, other than the perishables, which are safely stowed in the refrigerator where they belong, are still in their bags, though at least they are in the kitchen.

– My dry cleaning has been ready for ten days or more, and although the cleaner’s is only a block away and I have walked by it several times, I still haven’t picked it up. I usually only think about it after they’re closed and then promptly forget about it again.

– I have unanswered emails moldering in my inbox that are over a month old. My iBook is sneezing from the mold and dust and looking at me imploringly. “How hard can it be to just drop these folks a couple of lines, for dog’s sake?”, it asks, not unreasonably. I have yet to come up with a satisfactory response. Or any response, for that matter.

– I have begun to use my clothes dryer as a closet, just leaving the clean clothes in there until I’m ready to get them dirty again.

– I can’t be bothered to use the HTML to make this a real bulleted list.

– I have a project due on Monday that I haven’t even started.

In My Defense:

I have a raging sinus infection which is being treated with a fancy ass antibiotics during the day and fancy ass wine (alcohol is a germ killer, right?) in the evening. I am now both literally and figuratively snotty, blowing my nose to excess and keeping the Kleenex folks in business. I keep hearing the Batman theme in my head, only with the words replaced by “da da da da da da da da Snot Girl!” I should get a better theme song. Maybe “You Can’t Always Get What You Want.”

I am convinced that the sinus infection is a direct result of boasting over sour apple martinis that I haven’t had a cold for almost a year. I got through the whole winter without even a sniffle. The very next day, I woke up with a raging sore throat (treated with popsicles and echinacea) which segued into the sinus infection, the swift and sure revenge of the gods. I know a goddess would never do that to me.