Oct 10 2003

Exes

Published by at 10:57 am under Random Thoughts

I got the classic wolf whistle today. So retro and delightful!

Ex-boyfriends. I think there should be a planet they get sent to so you never have to see them again. Though if you do have to run into them, it should be exactly the way it happened to my good friend M last weekend.

Many years ago, when we were young and foolish, M was madly in love with a guy who looked quite a lot like Bono. Many girls found D irresistible in spite of (or possibly because of, in the case of those chics who love the bad boys) his treating them like crap and generally being an arrogant, cheating asshole from hell.

Now M is not, and never has been, a girl to take crap from anyone, ever, male or female, so her taking of D’s crap, especially for an extended period of time, was both mystifying and horrifying to her many friends. We all begged her to see reason, but to no avail. Eventually, though, he went back to his ex-girlfriend and that broke the spell. I’m sorry to say it took M years to get over this guy, but we’ve all done the same thing at one time or another. I personally wasted a year of my life on a psycho alcoholic freak who stalked me after we broke up (He went back to his ex-girlfriend, too, come to think of it. And in both cases, the exes were plain, dull girls. Maybe some guys just can’t take the smart beauties.).

Anyway, when M ran into her ex, she was wearing a pink satin minidress and signing copies of her book. So she was looking fabulous and being successful and fêted. What could be better? His career isn’t going very well, he’s aging horribly and no longer looks like Bono at all, and grudgingly has a baby. Of the baby, he quickly informed M that the mother was not his wife, and added that only 30% of children really know who their fathers are (where did he come up with that little gem of information?). Lovely. He could barely hold up his end of the conversation, and M asked me if he had always been that stupid. I said, “Honey, we were all telling you that for years!” Then she asked me if he had always been so short. I think she’s over him.

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4 responses so far

4 Responses to “Exes”

  1. Amberon 10 Oct 2003 at 11:50 am

    That is the perfect way to see the man that broke your heart! yay!

    Actually, I’m still friends with most of my exes. I think I’m better at friendship then realtionship. Thank god for Steve!

  2. amyon 10 Oct 2003 at 8:44 pm

    Good for your friend and YAY! for the pink satin mini dress 🙂

  3. Ravenon 14 Oct 2003 at 10:14 am

    So that’s why I’m stuck on planet Canada.

  4. Candion 14 Oct 2003 at 2:05 pm

    That’s hysterically funny. Although even the thought of sweet revenge isn’t enough for me to ever want to see any of my exes ever again!