Jun 06 2003
Signs
OK, so the whole time I’ve been here it’s been dark, rainy, lightly sprinkled with thunderstorms, and sometimes even downright cold. Today, as I prepare to leave, it’s bright and sunny. I mean, I knew I was a force of nature, but this is ridiculous.
You won’t be surprised that a girl with a mind as deeply trivial as mine has been most entertained by signs noticed while walking around Toronto. Undoubtedly we have just as many weird ones in San Francisco – and, given the nature of San Francisco, possibly even weirder – but I guess they are the kind of things you don’t notice, or stop noticing, when you live there.
Whoever is in charge of this town appears to think that its denizens are, well, “challenged”. In the subway, there are Designated Waiting Area signs along the walls, which strike me as hilarious – as if you can only wait under these signs and nowhere else or you’ll be in trouble. The Kodak Picture Spot signs on Pier 39 strike me the same way. You have to take your picture right here. Two inches to the left is completely unphotogenic.
Apparently, just telling you where to stand on the subway platform isn’t enough. Once you get above ground, you have to be told how to cross the street. Signs like these appear on many intersections, explaining in detail how to cross the street. Really, comment is superfluous. I’m just going to giggle and move on.
To the fortuitous conjunction of the following on Yonge Street:
1. An apparently heart-felt and certainly hand-drawn sign celebrating the mutual love and admiration of the local police force and a local motorcycle gang. Complete with interlocking hearts.
2. Which is located near Mrs. Dalloway’s hot dog stand. I doubt that the heroine of Virginia Woolf’s classic novel included hot dogs in her reflections on her life, even if they are all beef (maybe not a good selling point in these Mad Cow Disease days, anyway).
And finally: the cigarette packages here are decorated with photos of a CSI-level gruesomeness of what might happen to you if you indulge in the temptations within. Apparently they felt the written warnings were insufficient and a visual was required. But I wonder if the pictures of potential doom are any more effective than, say, the death penalty. I mean, no-one thinks they’re going to get caught.