May 14 2003
It’s the end of the world as we know it
“At first Piglet thought the world had come to an end. Then he thought perhaps just the Hundred Acre Wood had come to an end. Then he thought perhaps just he had come to an end.”
— A.A. Milne, Winnie the Pooh
You have been warned. The world may be coming to an end. I have proof. Or possibly, it already has and the theorists who hold that hell is here on earth are right. Lending credence to this theory is one’s existence being limited to work, errands, and the gym, and sleeping far fewer hours than one works.
Here are Suzy’s Three Proofs of Armageddon:
1. I am posting again.
2. I have a doctor’s appointment next week for the first time in six, count ’em, six years. Basically, I haven’t gone since I went off the Pill and therefore lost my entire reason for going to the doctor at all. It was almost a blackmail situation in those bad old days: go to the doctor and suffer the indignities or you won’t get the magic pills that save you from reproducing. Once that reason was removed, I joyfully renounced the indignities and squooshiness of the annual poke’n’prod. I will spare you the reason for my sudden change of heart, but let’s just say I want to make sure everything is operating as it should in the machinery of one’s aging bod. An expurgated report will be available next week. Oh, and I might finally find out what my blood type is, just for the hell of it.
3. My mother was nice to me when we visited her last weekend. Not one snide remark or blatant put down or yelling or insults or anything. She was also in better spirits than I have seen her in about a year. She had enough energy to go out to breakfast with John and me, and even walked us to the bus stop when we left. She sent us home with lettuce and roses from her garden. It was really nice, but really surreal.
Once again, one incident made me re-think my previous philosophy. Maybe I’ve been too hard on her! Maybe it’s all because I’m such a horrible daughter! Maybe she’ll be nice to me from now on! Maybe we really can repair our relationship!
Or not.
In the meantime, I’m just going to go with it and enjoy it.
I almost forgot the final proof: it hasn’t rained all week. Yet.
5 Responses to “It’s the end of the world as we know it”
Armageddon has been called on account of rain. Or a very heavy mist, because I was damp by the time I got to work this morning.
You don’t know your blood type?!?!?
I really don’t know my blood type. It might be in my medical charts somewhere, but I don’t actually know it. *ducking*
It’s fog, silly! Not rain!
The weather is nice here too! It’s about time!
I don’t know my blood type either!
Well, I for one am glad that you’re off to get a check-up. We need to keep you safe and sound. 🙂