Suzy Says

I really don’t seem to be cut out for a life of crime. At least, crime doesn’t seem to pay for me, though it generally does seem to be one of the better-paying occupations for everyone else.

I thought I had successfully impersonated my stepmother earlier this week. It’s only fair to say right away that she asked me to impersonate her. I’ll try and make a long story short.

My stepmother has a bank account here. When she set it up, she used my Social Security number (being English, she doesn’t have one or need one). I realize that this is probably wrong in bankworld, though not technically illegal. The account has one of those ATM cards you can also use as a credit card. The card was either lost or stolen in the m?l?e of the post-Christmas sales in Oxford Street, and she sent me a fax with the account number and card number, asking if I could have it replaced. I took the fax to the bank, and they said my stepmother would have to call, since our accounts are separate.

But calling an American 800 number from England is not easy. I think you can do it by calling the operator and asking him/her to connect you to the 800 number, but it’s expensive and annoying. I called Margaret to tell her all this and to suggest that I call the bank’s 800 number and say I’m her and get the card replaced. So I did, and all seemed to go well. I congratulated myself on the (apparently) successful impersonation and for helping her out.

On New Year’s Eve, I tried to take some money out on my way to meet John at the movies, and my card was declined. I thought it might have something to do with the holidays and decided not to worry about it until after New Year’s, but as of yesterday, it was still not working, so I called the 800 line and was informed that the card had been cancelled at my request.

I explained that I had not requested this, and that clearly someone at the bank had made a mistake. They said that Margaret must have asked to have it done. Now, I knew perfectly well that she hadn’t, but I couldn’t tell them that. I did ask them if I had two accounts in my name and lost the card for one, would they cancel both and they said no. Essentially they refused to take any responsibility, and my card is cancelled and I have to wait for a new one, which is making me feel naked, and not in a good way. I actually had to go into the bank today and get money out the old-fashioned way! And I know better than to think the post office will be quick in getting the new card to me.