Nov 07 2002
Weather Porn
San Francisco is noted for many things, but dullness isn’t one of them. Except in one particular: San Francisco must be one of the most boring places on earth to be a weatherman (or I suppose I should say, weather person, or possibly meteorologist). The temperature range is rarely more than 40° (40 being the coldest and 80 the hottest). The default weather is between 65° and 70° and sunny, with optional fog, mostly in the summer. The weather is pretty much uneventful, except for the occasional earthquake, though that isn’t really weather.
So it makes sense that the meteorologists get all excited when the winter rains start up (it almost never rains any other time of the year), as they did last night. It’s front page news in what passes for the local paper. But what drives me crazy is how on every single local TV station every single weatherperson says, “The storm door is open”. Not, “It’s really coming down out there” or “Expect storms over the next 48 hours” or anything like that. No, it’s always the damned storm door. I have come to the conclusion that it’s some kind of secret weather porn catchphrase that gives every meteorologist, regardless of gender, some kind of cheap weather thrill just to say it, or even think it. They probably look forward to it all year long. So have it, weather people, and I’ll just avoid the local news until the sun comes back, as I know it will, and enjoy wearing my cute new boots in the rain.