Jul 16 2002

Line dynamics

Published by at 6:11 am under City Life,Random Thoughts,Travel

I will never understand line dynamics. Not the math kind, or the geometry kind, or the late unlamented dance craze now moldering wherever dance crazes du jour go before being recycled into yet another one, but why lines of people are the way they are.

When we were in line to get tickets for “Road to Perdition” on Saturday, there were only 4 or 5 people ahead of us in line, but it took nearly 15 minutes for us to get to the window, where we paid with exact change and were out of there in seconds. Why does it take other people 10 times as long to buy a movie ticket?

I have observed the same thing in post offices, grocery stores, and airports. In the post office, you wait in line while time seems to stop, as the people ahead of you mail large, untidily wrapped packages of what appear to be body parts to countries with unpronounceable names, and without the correct paperwork or actual money.

The use of actual money is so unusual in this country that I wonder if they aren’t going to do away with it altogether and just implant chips in our hands to access our bank accounts and credit cards. A couple of weeks ago, I let a guy go ahead of me in the express line at the grocery store, because he only had one item. He thanked me and said, “And I’m even going to pay cash.” I joked, “Isn’t that positively un-American?” His response: “I’m Canadian, so I think it’s OK.”

Honestly, though, non-Canadians seem to think nothing of writing checks for $5 or using their ATM card for amounts almost as small. And in the express line, too. If you know you’re going grocery shopping – and how many of us do so on an impulse? – get the money first. Or get it at the ATM with which nearly every store is equipped. Your fellow Americans will thank you. Or at least not openly glare at you while cursing you and generations of your family.

As for airports, even if I’m going to Europe for three weeks, I never have more than carry-on. Bring outfits you like, about 5, and mix and match, doing laundry where necessary. Wear the one good outfit, fit for going out to dinner or to the theater. Bonus: airline staff, on the ground and on the plane, tend to be nicer to you if you’re dressed well, even if you’re flying cattle class. By limiting your baggage to carry-on, it’s a faster check-in. I also always book my seat ahead, which not only makes sure I get what I want (my main goal in life), but also makes check-in faster. But even assuming you haven’t done these things, why does it seem to take so long for people to check in? I’m not talking post-9/11 security measures, I’m talking standing at the counter for 15 or 20 minutes before finally finishing the checking in process. What could possibly take so long? Enquiring minds want to know. Well, not really. I just don’t want you ahead of me in line.

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4 responses so far

4 Responses to “Line dynamics”

  1. Candion 16 Jul 2002 at 1:16 pm

    I don’t carry cash. And neither does Brian. We both use our debit cards to buy almost everything.

    Punching in a four-digit pin is a helluva lot faster than waiting for the cashier to dig out your change, IMO.

    I actually feel the same way about people who dig around in their purse for cash as you do about us! LOL!

  2. Geoon 16 Jul 2002 at 9:41 pm

    I must admit I am one of those platic card users. I think it is convenient and allows me to keep track of my expenses. I just glance at a bank statement and know what budget category I had overspent. I insist that the money go through the bank before it can be used for purchases. I even call it “laundering money.”
    Of course, there’s a danger of spending money you do not have. But I believe with careful financial management using plastic is much easier.
    As far as standing in the line at a post office, I must agree: have properly filled-out documents before you take your place in line.

  3. Kellyon 16 Jul 2002 at 11:07 pm

    Yeah, I use plastic (debit) all the time as well. I don’t think it’s the credit cards per se. It’s more the general stupidity of the person in line.

    As an example, what is up with people who don’t even THINK about getting their wallet out until after the final sum is announced. With women, this is a fatal flaw, because the result is often several seconds (which feel like hours) of watching someone dig through their sack of useless crap (a.k.a. purse) to even find the wallet. Then on to the counting of change, etc.

    Bottom line: people are stupid. I need to say that at least once a day, or I feel incomplete. Much better now.

    Oh – and p.s. Never change lanes to try to speed up the process of checking out. Big mistake and it backfires every time. *grumbles*

  4. Corion 18 Jul 2002 at 7:51 pm

    i use a combo of cash and plastic. i know that if i have cash in my wallet, it’ll get spent. so i try to keep it empty. if i have cash, it’s because i’m going to get lunch at either job, where i can’t use my debit. i’m much more reluctant to use my debit card, because my purchases will come back to haunt me on my monthly statement. and since my mother pays for my credit card, i rarely use it, unless i’m buying something online that i will pay for later, buying something that she sent me out for, or something that i want her to pay for — like medecines, or toiletries, or whatever.

    using the debit card takes a hell of a lot less time than writing a check. i used to be a check writer (i figured that if i had to write checks, i’d be less likely to spend money — yeah right!) and i hate check writers. slowing down the damn line… and then i have to write up all of their “pertinent info” on my balance sheets. grrr.