Suzy Says

I still have the mystery illness, which has the effect of making me feel stoned all the time (but not in a good way) and has removed any vestiges of energy and ambition. On the bright side, it has given me time to read, think deep thoughts, and watch all five parts of “Wives and Daughters” while barely stirring from my cat-festooned bed.

One of the books which has whiled away the hours most entertainingly is Adam Gopnik’s “Paris to the Moon”. Gopnik transplanted his wife and son from New York to Paris, and the book is a sparkling memoir of their Parisian days.

Soon after their move, the Gopniks started looking for a gym in their neighborhood. It took some looking, because Parisians prefer to take their exercise in shopping form rather than gym form, but eventually, they located one that was under construction, but nearly completed.

The proprietress had the Gopniks fill out many forms — fondness for forms and bureaucracy is as French as croissants, and the more convoluted and unnecessary, the better — and finally tells the couple the fee for coming to the gym as often as once a week. “As often as once a week.” That’s the most they have imagined anyone would ever want to go to a gym. When the Gopniks ask how much it would be to come three or four times a week, the staff is thrown into a state of confusion. After much consultation, they come up with a price and tell the Gopniks that the machines should be in place by next week.

The following week, they go to the gym only to be told that the machines aren’t yet installed, but they will be, very soon. And to make up for the inconvenience, they are given, by the gym manager…a box of chocolate truffles.

Now, that’s what’s wrong with American gyms. Too many machines, and not enough truffles. The French might be on to something, though. When Rufus and I were in Paris at Christmas, I joyfully ate croissants and pastry and drank champagne and countless other diet no-no’s (and no gym), but actually and visibly lost weight. Yet I can’t explain the Paris Paradox. How does eating French food in France make you thinner, while eating salads with diet dressing in the USA make you stay the same size (or gain weight)? I am going on a field trip to France to find out as soon as I get rid of this flu.