Suzy Says

I had a spa day (OK, a spa hour or two) after my coffee on the roof yesterday. I deep-conditioned my hair, tweezed my eyebrows (without sneezing), had a face mask (why does clay, which is basically wet dirt, deep clean your face? Why?), shaved my legs with one of those new Venus razors (shave with your inner Goddess!) and painted my toenails bronze. Sometimes I am JUST SO GIRLY.

It might have been a reaction to dinner on Friday night. My godmother had a new variation on her insult Suzy method. This time it was: compliment everyone but me. She told both of her friends how pretty they looked, when they were wearing jeans, turtlenecks (an item of clothing that should only be worn when camping or hiking and at no other time) lumberjack shirts, and construction boots. I was wearing cocoa linen pants with hand crocheted trim and a one of a kind silk blend sweater embroidered with leaves, and suede mules.

She followed it up with telling one of them what a wonderful eye she had for colors and textures of fabrics. Nothing for me, even though I had brought flowers and helped with dinner and tried to wear something nice. I took a cab there, and then we went and picked them up! I really need to get over myself or stop seeing her — or see her with different expectations. Maybe I should decide to find it amusing. To quote Elvis Costello “I used to be disgusted/but now I try to be amused.”

Hey, J-P, Mind your own business! Can’t believe the Pope feels he has the right to interfere in our business. Also, couldn’t he have chosen a more worthy cause than Timothy “No Regrets” McVeigh? His Holiness also appears to be unaware of the fact that Dictator Bush used to run the killingest state in the Union, where he failed to commute even one death sentence. And even if our appointed leader wanted to commute the sentence, he couldn’t, since Timmy failed to file an appeal. Maybe the pontificating Pontiff should check his facts before putting his two liras’ worth in. What’s that, Lassie? Timmy’s going to Hell?